Oops Thursday ...

(1 Cent) Uh ...

So, this new job thing has me waking up at 6:30am everyday ... not cool. This first week at the new job has made it so I need to reorder my life .... For today's Pet Peeve Thursday, it will not be posted. I plan to have it done by tomorrow. And that's okay, because no one (NO ONE) has written in anything ... which means I'm slacking off on the writing and you (the reader) are slacking off on the, well, reading. No harm, no foul.

(2 Cent) Hmm ...

So, tomorrow is going to be a Grab Bag Friday still, but with the Pet Peeve Thursday as one of the 'cents.' It should make sense.

(1/2 Cent) I Know, I'm Lame ...

Hey, at least I'm writing this much! Gosh.

HCP

Spmusic Mondays: Yup, Yup!

(1 Cent): I Told You So (So Far …)

Well, Team USA is now 6-0, including their first victory in the ‘one and done’ rounds of the FIBA World Championship tournament (beating Australia 113-73). As mentioned earlier (in a Grab Bag Friday) the U.S. had cut Bruce Bowen and kept Shane Battier (who went 4-4 from 3 point territory last game). That was a great move. Glad I thought of it.

Now that Team USA is undefeated and looking like they’re poised to claim the gold, we still have some people in the media thinking we’re still not going to win because of Spain, Argentina, or even Greece. I mean, we are not blowing out every team; we have some instances where we can’t make as many shots as we’d like; sometimes the defense looks sketchy … but you know what? We’re winning. We don’t have to be perfect … we just have to be better than our opponent on that given night – we have to want it more. That is precisely what this team does.

Who else would you want on your team if it was a close game – and elimination game – other than Kobe? We have LeBron James! He just proved he can carry a team when needed by hoisting the Cleveland Cavs on his shoulders and willing his team into the 7th game of the ECF. We have Dwayne Wade! He just powered his NBA team (Miami Heat) to their first championship in franchise history and proved time and time again he was clutch and unstoppable. We have Carmelo Anthony! Throughout the regular season (last NBA season) he hit game winning shot after game winning shot … and has thus far proven to be our most efficient offensive weapon. We have these ‘Big 3’ including the “other guys” that have been ballin’ throughout the tournament.

I can understand the scrutiny if we were losing and just barely got in the final bracket, but we’ve won every game, we have the right mindset, and it’s not like the other teams haven’t had their weaknesses too. If I had to bet on a team, there’s no other team I would choose but USA … and that’s just not because I’m from here. It’s a combination of having the best athletes, a planned team that has come to fruition, and the sense of pride the players are using as motivation to win.

I just cannot fathom all 12 of these players having a bad game all on the same day … I can’t imagine 6 of these players having a bad game all on the same day, but that’s what it’s going to take for us to lose. That, and another country’s team playing their highest level of basketball.

Out of the 8 teams left in the quarterfinals, here are my predictions: Argentina over Turkey; Spain over Lithuania; Greece over France; USA over Germany. Then, it’ll be Spain over Argentina; USA over Greece. Argentina will beat Greece for the Bronze metal, and in the Championships, the USA will triumph over Spain.

(2 Cent): ‘Idlewild!’

OutKast is always known for switching up their flow to not stay ahead of the game … but to turn it upside down. This latest album is no exception. Andre 3000 and Big Boi push the creative envelope and lead us into a rhythmic adventure that we’ll soon not forget. For me, with most OutKast albums, it seems ahead of it’s time. For example, their beats are just so crazy, that I don’t appreciate until a couple years later. I’m sure this album will do the same.

Don’t get me wrong – there are some tracks that I feel are instant hits, but a couple of them (mostly by Andre 3000) leave my eardrums in a pensive state. I don’t know what to make of it yet. I think I can attribute some of this to the fact that ‘Idlewild’ is not just an album, but a soundtrack to their movie, also entitled ‘Idlewild.’ Maybe some of the other songs that I don’t know what to do with are better suited for the movie, I’m not sure (I’ve not seen the movie).

With that said, I can’t give this album less than a 7 out of 10 because the songs that I do like, I really like … and again, I feel that the rest of the songs are just ahead of its time. Maybe in 2 years, I’ll give ‘Idlewild’ an 8 or so. If you’re an OutKast fan (as I am) and know what to expect, I’m sure you’ll like this soundtrack just fine.

**My Top 5** (In No Particular Order)

-- Track 4, “Idlewild Blue (Don’t Chu Worry ‘Bout Me)” … Even though this song has recently come out with a video – and I try to stay away from featuring videos or singles – this song is such a great mix of old school Blues and Hip Hop, it had to make it on here … a simple beat, simple lyrics, but try to not sing it in the shower … I dare you.

-- Track 7, “Morris Brown” (Featuring Sleepy Brown & Scar) … This song is like a college marching band meeting the streets of the 1800’s … very strong beat with drums and trombones and whatnot … Sleepy Brown gives it that smooth effect … Big Boi ices it with his lyrics.

-- Track 18, “In Your Dreams” (Featuring Killer Mike & Janelle Monáe) … A really silky beat made sleeker with Janelle on the hook (which is my favorite part) … I like the soft piano in the background … of course Big Boi and Killer Mike do there thing.

-- Track 10, “Life Is Like A Musical” … This song is barely over 2 minutes but it has a contagious beat while Andre shows off his crooning skills.

-- Track 12, “Hollywood Divorce” (Featuring Lil’ Wayne & Snoop Dogg) … This beat sounds a little more vintage OutKast to me, except the hook … Wayne and Snoop are good appearances, add a little variety to the track.

Honorable Mention: “Mighty ‘O’” … (was on the radio for first single)

(1/2 Cent): Complete Domination

My softball team the Wannabees took another step towards a winning record by crushing our opponents 17-0 last Thursday. How you ask? How indeed. If you recall, we only scored 1 run last game. This game, we beat them like a circus monkey. Speaking as unbiased as I can, I would say we scored this many because of the combination of finally putting the ball in play (as opposed to popping up or fouling out – if you foul the ball 2 times, it’s a strikeout) and having the opponent’s defense cause more errors than a blind crossing guard.

This time, to switch up the game plan, the coach (?) put me batting leadoff. I mean, I can see the logic in this, because our first 3 games I had 4 RBI’s but 0 Runs. I suppose the little change worked. I ended up batting 1.000 again (3 for 3) and having 3 Runs scored. I mean, I’d rather hit in runs than score them, but whatever. As long as we win, I’m happy. It’s not like I’m fast or anything (I mean, I’m not a slouch … I can out sprint Shaq … assuming there wasn’t a hamburger at the finish line). I think it’s because I’m one of the few players with cleats and I don’t slide around on the base paths.

Some more notes:

-- I guess my defense isn’t as bad as I described earlier … I just demand perfection out of myself … and at least for one game, I accomplished that (sign me up, Single A ball!).

-- The over/under for homeruns for me is 2; over/under of how many games it will take for me to get injured is 6.

Team Stats: (2-2) … Last Game – W, 17-0

HCP Game Stats: AB = 3, R = 3, H = 3, 2B = 1, RBI = 0, BA = 1.000

HCP Season Stats: AB = 12, R = 3, H = 10, 2B = 2, 3B = 0, HR = 0, RBI = 4, BA = .833

Make sure you readers (all 1 of you) write in some ideas, questions, comments, and whatever for Grab Bag Friday … and find out what else chaps my cheeks by clicking back for Pet Peeve Thursdays!

HCP

Grab Bag Fridays: Take It To The House

(1 Cent): Where's The Love?

It's that time again for reader's response. We only had a couple this week ... I'll give you what I got.

Q: "I know what you mean about the fantasy vs. reality conundrum. But, I like it when other owners in a league are such huge fans of their real-life team that they draft a lot of their favorite team's players (when they shouldn't) and accept trades for crappy players that clearly aren't that good. I loves it all. " -- AX9

HCP: Yes, I love it when people are like that in fantasy leagues, too. For instance, one year in my basketball fantasy league we (J.H. and I) had traded Shaquille O'Neal to some Lakers lover (yes, I am one too ...) for Tim Duncan (debatable MVP), Michael Finley (circa when he was part of the Dallas 'Big Three' with Dirk and Nash and was good), and Zydrunas Ilgauskas (a Top 4 Center). I mean, I love the Lakers, but I know a good trade when I see it. He was happy with Shaq, and I was happy destroying the rest of the league. It's a beautiful thing.

Q: "I have a question. What is with the picture of yourself you put up? It looks like you were frozen in carbonite like in Star Wars, possibly by a big, porky Jabba-type character...if so, how did you escape??? I mean, I can't believe you didn't talk about this already on the blog, seems like a near-death experience would be important enough to talk about!" -- Jamz

HCP: Well, it goes a little something like this ... I had a pic of myself ... I sent it to a friend to make something out of it ... the best one I liked is the one where I look embossed in abalone colored foil.

Besides ... do you think I'd be captured by Jabba? I'm more sly than Han Solo any day. I'm a crafty one ... and you can quote me on that.

(2 Cent): Randomness

-- Ha, they cut Bruce Bowen ... just like I said they should (would) ... I should charge $0.98 a minute to even listen to me, I'm so psychic!

-- What is VH1 going to call the show about the years 2000-2009? 'I Love The 00's?'

-- Should we really complain about gas prices? I mean, milk is almost as much in price and there's a never ending supply of that juice. (The answer is 'yes'?).

Uhm ... I've got nothing left to say for the week ... even that was stretching it. Hopefully this weekend recharges my creative flow ... see ya Monday.

HCP

Pet Peeve Thursdays: Stupid Laziness

(1 Cent): Lazy = Loser!

Do you know what really chaps my cheeks? Lazy people. I'm not talking about when someone is lethargic or tired because of a lack of sleep, but that the person actually goes out of their way to avoid strenuous movements to save some energy ... to go out and be more lazy. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about efficiency, but there's just some things that I don't condone. This article is inspired by "Smooth Like KY" from last week's Grab Bag Friday. They are as follows:

#1) People Who Drive Around The Parking Lot, Searching And Searching For A Spot Near The Entrance ... I mean, all that driving -- wasting time, gas, your life! -- just to find a spot that's like, 20 feet closer? Can you really not walk that much more? All that time you spent, driving around for "the perfect spot" you could have walked into your destination ... about three times over. This is especially a no-no for gym goers. If you're needing to park close enough so you don't have to walk too far as you're going to the gym ... well, there are places reserved for you somewhere in Dante's Circles of Hell.

#2) People Who Go Out Of Their Way To Use The "Automated Door" As Opposed To The "I Have To Open It By Pushing On It Door" ... Is it so freakin' impossible to open a door yourself? Technology is great, but some people are abusing it like they were a Catholic priest (too soon? It was too soon, wasn't it?). I've actually seen someone go up to a door, discovered that it was not opening for his majestic self, and then walked further down the store front to walk through the automated door. I wanted to shoot him with a beebee gun in the back of his knees.

#3) Leaving The TV On A Certain Channel Because You Can't Find The Remote ... Is it really worth watching "Walker Texas Ranger" for 3 hours because you can't walk 3 feet to the TV to change the channel? I'm sure your ancestors would be proud that they risked their lives fleeing to American on the Mayflower just so you could avoid the hardships of the trek to your plasma flat screen TV. Bravo!

#4) Pushing Around A Shopping Cart For 3 Or Less Items ... I've seen someone at the checkout line in a grocery store that only had a loaf of bread, a can of vegetables, and something like a a Kool-Aid packet in his cart. I'll repeat that: CART! There were no kids present. He didn't walk with a cane. Unbelievable! At least grab the little hand basket ... for goodness sakes, a cart?! Oh, you forgot to buy the 8 pack of tortillas ... better ask for assistance to your car!

#5) Wearing A Digital Watch Because Tyring To Figure Out Those Sneaky Hand Watches Requires Effort ... If you refuse to wear a watch with hands because it's too hard to read ... then I feel I need to smash your Adam's apple with a rubber mallet. Numbers can be scary too, ya know. Like, 1-8-7 ....

#6) People Who Scribble Their "Signature" Because It Takes Too Long To Actually Write The Letters In Their Name ... I have nothing wrong with cool, artistic signatures. I'm talking about the people who have a signature who looks like they put the pen in their left armpit and then endured a case of convulsions. Just write it right, alright?

#7) Using My Trash Can Because Yours Is Full Of The Trash That You Hadn't Left On The Curb For The City To Pick Up ... 'Nuff said.

#8) Having A Ton Of Energy And Hustle On Offense, But All Of A Sudden, All Your Strength Is Gone For Defense ... This is more for when I play basketball, but these are the ball hogs that think they're Kobe but they're really like a half-skilled Greg Foster. 'Sure, I'll shoot every time I touch the ball, but I can't run back on "D" and guard my player.' I hate having these guys on my team.

#9) People Who Don't Finish What They Set Out To ...

(2 Cent): Pet Peeve And A Half

So, the other day, I just saw someone drop a cigarette on the floor as they entered a store, and then as they walked out they picked it up and started smoking it again. Now, is this because they're conservative? Is this because they're addicted beyond repair? Do they love the taste of asphalt and nicotine combined? I'm just dumbfounded.

Also, one time I remember a smoker putting his cigarette in the tread of his tires, as a holder. Then, after he was done doing his business in the store, dude goes back to the tire, gets his beloved cancer stick, and puffs away like nothing abnormal just occurred. Wow. Can I have your autograph?

(1/2 Cent): Send Me Another Round, Bar Keep!

So, I have received some comments and/or questions for tomorrow. It's not too late to write it! If you haven't done so already, write what's on your mind to HCP2007@gmail.com or just comment by clicking the "Comments" link on the lower right. (My bad: I kept telling you to click an envelope icon before). C'mon. You're not too lazy to express yourself, are ya? Ha!

Spmusic Mondays: Is Fantasy The New Reality?

(1 Cent): The Greater Good

Sports. A multi-billion dollar business. Fantasy sports. A multi-million dollar business. Both use the same athletes (although hopefully not the John Rocker’s or the Greg Ostertag’s). People, or fans, seem to follow both loyally … but if they had to choose one team to root for in a certain situation, which one would it be?

A question was posed a couple months or so ago on ESPN’s webpage called “The Daily Quickie.” It basically asked, if you had to choose between your fantasy team winning or the team(s) you actually root for in real life (i.e. Lakers, Dodgers), which would you choose? I just got to thinking about this the other day and had to pose this moral sports dilemma to myself.

You see, my fantasy sports world started out about my junior year of high school, where my friend J.H. introduced me to yet another way to wonderfully burn time with sports. Since then, J.H. and I had always made a team for basketball and baseball every year, to this day. To understand the sports predicament even further, you have to understand how fantasy sports work.

In picking your fantasy team, you have to choose real life sports athletes (in honor of my current baseball team, we will use MLB players and teams for examples). Before the season starts (for fantasy and real life), a “draft” is held, where the league you signed up with randomly decides who gets to pick first, second, third, etcetera until all teams (usually 10 or 12) have picked a player. When that is done, the first round is complete. Then, for the second round, the team who had picked last gets the first pick (in other words, two picks in a row) and it goes all the way back up. This continues until your fantasy team has all the requisite players (i.e. a starting line-up and a bench).

During the selection process, you have to decide which current MLB player you want playing for your fantasy team. The league that I’m in counts all offensive stats as points … nothing is penalized for errors or outs (except for pitchers, who are penalized about 0.5 points for giving up hits, earned runs, and more points for a loss). With this in mind, you can choose anyone from any team … including a team that might be your rival for real life sports. Let’s use me as the example. I love the Los Angeles Dodgers. I despise their rival (tradition?) the San Francisco Giants. But, what if I needed a good starting pitcher, and the best one available was Giants ace Jason Schmidt? I’m not going to take a lesser pitcher with my next pick just because he’s on the Giants (am I?).

So, say my fantasy team is comprised of Schmidt (hey, it happens) and a couple of other players from the Dodgers’ division, like 1B Todd Helton of the Colorado Rockies and 2B Orlando Hudson from the Arizona Diamondbacks. Now, what happens to my loyalty if the Dodgers are set to play the Rockies for a 4 games series and then the same week, the D’Backs for another 3 games? I need Helton and Hudson to do well, but if they do well, their respective teams have a better shot at beating the Dodgers … and if the Dodgers lose, it puts a kink in my day. If they don’t do well, then my fantasy team comes up short in points and I lose. Quite the quandary.

An even crazier choice would have to be made if the Dodgers are towards the end of their season and are vying for a playoff spot, while my fantasy team is also in the hunt for one. Now what should I want to happen? On the surface, it seems ludicrous for me to be rooting for said Giants pitcher Schmidt, while my whole life I’ve been booing his team … but now he’s helping my fantasy team.

Basically, I don’t know if there is a right or wrong answer here. I suppose a lot of the decision making could stem from what team is “your” team. For example, if your favorite MLB team was the Kansas City Royals, you might not have much of a dilemma because the Royals get beat more than red-headed step children. Plus, do the Royals even have a rival? The closest thing is probably their Triple-A team. So, the problem for Royals fans (if they exist) is alleviated greatly.

For me, it goes like this: I will never wish defeat or someone doing well against my Dodgers (or Lakers). It is just too foreign to me. I just hope that my fantasy players going up against my real life favorite teams don’t suck so badly that it kills my fantasy team. I am happy with that. I suppose my loyalty runs too deep for my LA teams and because nothing surpasses the excitement of watching said teams in the playoffs … and I don’t think that’s bad.

(2 Cent): Second Round’s On Me

This week’s review is the second CD from one of Eminem’s protégés entitled “Second Round’s On Me” by Obie Trice. I was skeptical at first because I really liked his first CD (“Cheers”) and thought I should prepare for the “sophomore slump” that some artists go through. Another side of me felt that it still should be good since Eminem produced many of the songs and oversaw production on it in general.

I should know better than to doubt Eminem. Obie’s second CD is better than anticipated, not only because his tracks are hard hitting but because I feel his lyrics overall are a little deeper in some songs; Obie isn’t rapping about “bling bling” throughout the whole CD but keeps it real. For me, Rap artists need to have a unique style, strong voice presence, and to have some variety in their raps (i.e. good use of allusions that haven’t been stated previously by other rappers). Obie Trice has these qualities and personifies them throughout the CD.

I keep looking for a reason to give “Second Round’s On Me” a lower rating than 8 out of 10, but I can’t. He has hood anthems, a really sweet party song (“Jamaican Girl”), he switches up the flow with a couple of songs (“Wanna Know” and “Mama”) and keeps his guest appearances low in number but high in quality (most notably Eminem, 50 Cent, and Nate Dogg). I know I keep using the phrase “a really solid CD” but that’s what Obie gives us. There isn’t a lull of filler songs anywhere (save the Intro). If you like Eminem’s production style and liked “Cheers” then this CD will not disappoint.

**My Top 5 Songs** (in no particular order):

1): Track 5, “Lay Down” … This Em produced track has that “Renegade” feel to it (a song Em did with Jay-Z on “The Blueprint”) probably because of the violin sound in the background … but more up-tempo … a little harder … nice ridin’ music.

2): Track 9, “Jamaican Girl” (Featuring Brick & Lace) … This is the lone party song but you will definitely cut a rug to it …reminiscent of a Timbaland beat (i.e. “Naughty Eye”) … very catchy hook.

3): Track 17, “Every Where I Go” (Featuring 50 Cent) … A nice little jam that has 50 on the hook … just a song you can chill with while driving or you need a little pick me up.

4): Track 8, “Ballad of Obie Trice” … I like the simplicity of the beat and the synthesized hook ... the lyrics are also good.

5): Track 12, “All Of My Life” (Featuring Nate Dogg) … This track has a 213 feel to it, most likely because of Nate’s presence … how can it not be a hit with Nate Dogg on it?

(1/2 Cent): We Were Worked!

Last Thursday, my softball team --the Wannabees -- was handed a nice piece of humility. We were beaten 7-1, where our offense disappeared (last week we scored 11 runs somehow). I made my first outs of the season, going 1 for 3 … one was a big fly with only warning track power and the other was another pop up between shortstop and left field. It was horrible. Also, through 3 games, I’ve still not crossed home plate … in fact, I’ve not even gotten past 2nd base (only in softball people … I’ve been across “2nd base” many-a-times! Ha!). After the game, I had an epiphanic moment: I’m going to have to go at least 3 for 3 in every game that we want a chance to win. That’s not tooting my horn (where ever that phrase came from) but our offense for the most part is – to be positive – inconsistent.

At least I had a couple of good defensive plays at 3rd (which is noteworthy because I’m hit or miss in the field … let’s just say I have a good arm, but my work on grounders needs some practice). My best play came where the batter hit a laser in between me and the shortstop, I went left and just put my glove down to attempt to stop it, it ended up in my glove (where I thought to myself, “happy birthday!”), then acting like it was all routine, I calmly gathered myself and threw a laser back at the first baseman (ya know, a little extra juice on it so I can make myself feel good). Hopefully, we can pull another win out of our … bag … and even up our record.

Team Stats: (1-2) ... Last Game - L, 7-1

HCP Game Stats: AB = 3, R = 0, H = 1, RBI = 0, BA = .333

HCP Season Stats: AB = 9, R = 0, H = 7, 2B = 1, 3B = 0, HR = 0, RBI = 4, BA = .778

As for this Thursday, make sure you check back to see another pet peeve saturated article! Someone asked me the other day, “What if you run out of pet peeves?” To this I replied, “The day I run out of pet peeves is the day I stopped living.” Well, it sounded more profound in the moment. Make sure to send in those comments, questions, or anything that’s on your mind to HCP2007@gmail.com or click on the comment icon on the bottom right! Until Thursday!

HCP

Grab Bag Fridays: Gimme Some Mo'

(1 Cent): You Say, I Say

Well, there were not many e-mails or comments this week (I guess I wasn't the only slacker). But, here are the two I received:

Q: "HCP- After having read this last Friday's grab bag....(nice pun) I was sad to hear that the blogs will be shortened to three entries a week. And maybe due to differences in taste I was even more sad to hear that relationship Wednesdays is gone. As pure suggestion only I think it would be more entertaining to hear about that than Spmusic because that will limit the bloggers to only those who are interested in that particular genre (leaning more towards the music...sports is good) unless its branched out. And just although for pet peeve Thursday, how about people that park their cars in the street right in front of a store like wal-mart where you have to go on the wrong side of the road to pass just because someone is too fat to walk ten more feet to their handicap space.... If you're too fat to walk 10 extra feet you better invest in a rascal scooter. Thanks for looking over my comment..." -- Smooth like KY

HCP: Yes, I'm as sad as you are that I will have to be shortening my blog to three days a week. Believe me, if I could, I would write one every day ... but I'd have to be paid for it. I suppose I'm only "limiting" my audience by writing the sports and music, but I do have to write about what I like (and know). I believe in pleasing the masses, but you can't please everyone. I don't know how many more people I would get reading my blog if I did reserve a whole day for relationship talk, so time-wise I'm not so sure it's worth it. Again, today (Grab Bag Fridays) is the day to ask any and everything ... and for me to write about anything and everything. That includes relationships. So, if there is anything you'd like some advice on, all you (and anyone) has to do is comment or write to my e-mail address. Problem solved!

About your pet peeve ... hmmm ... that gets me thinking about laziness in general. That could be a good one. I'll have to incorporate that somewhere down the line.

P.S. I'm guessing "Smooth like KY" isn't referring to Kentucky ... yikes.

Q: "I'm not trying to call you a liar but I bet you weren't kidding when you said, "the cross-wristed double birds (kidding!)." is a way you release your anger. I know it works well for me. Either the the cross-wristed double birds or a piece of strange @$$, either way I will be satisfied. By the way great article." -- L. Mach

HCP: Yeah, I might not have been kidding. It's just not something I would condone ... although it does make me giddy. As does your mention of "a piece of strange @$$" ... you intrigue me, L. Mach ... you intrigue me ....

(2 Cent): Random Ramblings ...

So, I just wanted to write some things that have been on my mind in the past couple of days ... maybe you can relate ... maybe you'll think I'm weird ... either way, it should be a good use of your valuable time:

-- Yesterday, I saw two isolated incidents of nose picking (one female and one male) ... they were at least in their early 30's. Why does this still happen, especially in public, with your finger sans tissue? Sick, sick, sick.

-- Have you ever been around someone with some atrocious B.O. and you don't want another person (even if it's a stranger whom you will never see again) to think it's you? This just happened to me ... I'm not a fan.

-- Do you have a friend that says they hate it when people repeat themselves, but yet you hear the same stories over and over from them? The irony is killing me inside.

-- Have you noticed that commercials before the movie starts (in a theater) are happening more and more? I think those combined with previews (which aren't all that bad) add up to 35 minutes ... at least that's what it was when I last went. Is this good?

-- Is it bad when you're going off about how much you need money, you're borrowing money at an insane interest rate, but then when I call you, you have a ringtone?

-- Is it just me, or does somebody else out there believe that "hand sanitizer" is kind of gross ... it feels like you're just massaging those germs into your hands ... right?

(1/2 Cent): Write Me or Face The Consequences!

Okay, there's no consequences. But if you write in it will be for a better read on Fridays! I don't care if you're written in before or that you'll feel you'll write too much ... I only have like 8 readers right now. Tell your friends, let them know too. Write in about anything ... questions, comments, wanted advice, your pet peeves, weird stories ... it doesn't even have to be tasteful! Just write away to HCP2007@gmail.com. To those of you who have written in already, I give you a big thank you! Until Monday ... HCP out!

Pet Peeve Thursdays: You're Drunk, Right? No? Then Drive Better!

(1 Cent): Clueless Behind The Wheel

Do you know what really chaps my cheeks? People who do stupid things when they drive ... people who have no business driving ... people who cause accidents or even make you break your "stride" ... etcetera. Driving isn't that hard. Unfortunately, we have people out there who can barely wipe themselves after the bathroom controlling a piece of machinery that weighs thousands of pounds. I'm not perfect ... but I have never received a ticket nor have I been in an automobile accident. You can chalk it up to good driving, luck, skill, determination ... or I just haven't "gotten mines", yet. I don't know. What I do know is I've avoided many (MANY) accidents ... and here's some of the experiences of that and other very annoying road encounters. In no particular order:

1): Switching Lanes While Either Not Signaling OR Switching Lanes And Then Signaling After Your Stupid Move Was Made ... Okay, people. The purpose of the signal is to warn other drivers of the direction you're intending to move toward. Why tell me "I'm going right" after you have already swerved in front of me from the other lane? It's like, you dart in front of me, I slam on my breaks to make room for you (or you'd crash into me) and then you signal ... oh, you went right ... that's what had happened. I thought you were just flashing your turn signal because it's a pretty red. Those of you who don't even bother to signal should just burn.

2): Not Stopping On A Right Turn When It Is Red For You ... I don't know how many times I've had to break stride while driving because someone turns right in front of me WHEN THEY HAVE A RED. I've heard of the California Roll, but the Nebraska No Stop? What the poo? It seems that people are more cautious when it is their green light and they have to turn right than it is when the light is red. Plus, if you're making the oncoming traffic that actually has the green stop or slow down because of you ... I hope karma comes back at you in the form of your dog slay crawling on your carpet after it ate some Taco Bell.

3): Stopping When There's No Stop Or Yield Sign ... Not Stopping When There Is A Stop Or Yield Sign ... How is there any excuse for this? How can you stop when there's NOTHING to tell you to do so? Why? Why do we have to put up with you? It's people like you that create the desire for road rage. On the other hand, how can you just blow through a stop sign? Maybe the word "s-t-o-p" means "floor the gas pedal like a crazy immigrant" in another language, but here in the good ol' U.S. of A it means to use the other pedal (the break pedal) and bring your vehicle to a stop because, lo and behold, there might be other cars coming through that actually don't have a stop sign. If I see either of these again, I'm going to probably pee my pants and make you pay for the dry cleaning.

4): People Who Ride Your Tail On The Freeway, Get Frustrated, Pass You In The Other Lane, Dart Back In Front Of You In Your Lane, Then 3 Seconds Later Get Off On The Next Off Ramp ... These people need to be dropped off in Iraq wearing only red, white, and blue boxers and a shirt that says, "Iraq Blows." Are you really that much in a hurry that you needed to save those extra 0.6 tenths of a second by getting in front of me? I'm already going over the speed limit ... you're telling me you couldn't have waited like, 3 seconds, stayed behind me, and then got off the freeway like a normal person? It's so stupid! Unless you're in dire need of ... naw, there's no excuse.

5): Darting Into A Median (Going The Same Direction You Are), Then Just Merging Into Your Lane (Or More Accurately, Merging Into Your Car) ... This just happened again to me last night! Dude just burned rubber into the median, caught up to the same speed I was going, then just started merging into me! I saw this happening before he even did it (because it's happened before) so as soon as he started directing his car into mine, I honked until my hearts content (i.e. about 3 seconds longer than needed). I mean, geez! I know you saw me! There's no way you couldn't have! Do you expect me to slow down or something? You're the one merging! You have to merge with traffic, not me!

6): Big Rig Trucks Doing About 80 MPH ... If you're not Keanu Reeves in the movie "Speed 3: 16 Wheels of Destruction" then you truck drivers need to slow it down. Especially if you don't have cargo, because your trailers are swaying this way and that (i.e. they are swaying towards my car) and I don't feel like being on the front page of a newspaper article entitled "Handsome Man Smacked Off Road, Dies Horrible Death" because Jethro Q. Hickinson wanted to make "great time." I can see it now ... Jethro is quoted as saying, "Shucks, I didn't even see the little feller. I done didn't cuz I was whippin' through so durn fast, my trailer must've hit 'em. Hey, wanna hear mah horn? It sounds like pigs snortin' and eatin' curn!"

7): People Who Have Cars That Blow Out Black Smoke ... Can you not see the huge, black cloud of smog your pristine Trans Am is blowing out it's @$$? No matter if I have the windows up and the vent or AC turned to the off position, you can still smell it. Can you really not see it in the rearview mirrors? Oh, that's right. You don't use those shiny glass thingies. I've got an idea, though. Here's how you can tell if your car emits enough black smog to choke a rhino. If you take your car inside your garage ... turn it on ... keep it in park (yes, I felt I had to be specific) ... put a cinder block on the gas pedal ... close the garage door ... JUST KIDDING! Gosh.

8): On A 3 or 4 Lane Freeway, Passing In The Slow Lane ... Why do you do it? Do you think just because you're in the "slow lane" that a cop won't see you going 92 MPH? Generally, as a rule of thumb, the faster traffic is for the left lane(s). Don't try to pass in the right lane! Especially since sometimes, drivers want to be courteous and get over to the right so you can keep up that maniacal speed. It's happened before: I see some ya-hoo coming from behind me at about 40 miles faster, I blink to get over and start merging right, then all of a sudden, I see the same dude in the right lane, trying to pass me. What? Make up your mind? Which lane do you want? Oh, all of them? Okay, everyone else ... get over to the shoulder! Hmm ... I didn't know the "King of the Highway" drove a '91 Camero with 3 hubcaps ... weird!

9): The Over-Courteous Driver ... You know what I mean. The driver that thinks (s)he will be nice and let that one car turn in front of them, but the car waiting is confused, so there is this awkward stand-off, but the courteous driver is holding up about 12 cars behind them, and everyone is just parked .... Ugh! Just go! Being nice to one stranger isn't going to make up for stealing $10.00 out of your mother's purse when you were 8 years old.

10): When You're At A Stop Light, You Let Off The Break Pedal To Go When It Is Still Red, Then You Stop, Then You Want To Go Again, But The Light Is Still Red, Then You Stop, Creeping And Inching Closer To The Intersection (Where I Hope You End Up Getting T-Boned By An 80 MPH 16 Wheeler) ... Not really life or death, but just annoys the crap out of me. I mean, my color blind dog could see the light staying the same red ... wait until it's green! Oh, and a brother pet peeve to this, is the person behind a car doing this. Hey, I don't know what grade you earned in 10th grade physics, but here's a quick lesson: you can't go faster (or farther) than the car directly in front of you. Why keep inching closer and closer? Will it make the light change faster? Are you that much closer to your destination? Someone please give me an answer! That's all I ask (oh, and for you to stop doing it).

(2 Cent): There's More

So, the majority of these points have to do with almost causing accidents. Of course, there are many more things that annoy me (and no doubt you) but I guess my main beef is if it will cause damage to my car or my body. Other annoying pet peeves can be easily solved with a 10 second horn honk or the cross-wristed double birds (kidding!). Basically, I just don't want to be smashed and pummeled harder than Ike did Tina. There. I said it.

(1/2 Cent): You Got Beef?

This latest entry was an idea courtesy of one of my readers. What pet peeves do you have? I'm sure if you've been through it, we've all been through it ... and I'd like to write about it. Comment below or write in to HCP2007@gmail.com. Get in all the comments and whatnot today, because tomorrow is Grab Bag Friday!

HCP

Spmusic Mondays (On Tuesday): Can You Dig It?

(1 Cent): Reviewing My Team USA Predictions …

So, on Friday, August 4th’s Grab Bag I gave my little assessment of USA’s basketball team and who I thought should be on (and off) the team. Since then, the U.S. has played 4 exhibition games, going 4-0 (including 2 HUGE blowouts of Puerto Rico and China, a nail biter against Brazil, and then another big win against Lithuania). I then listed the 3 players of the remaining 15 that should/needed to be cut: Amare Stoudemire because of his injury (which was already happening), Bruce Bowen because, well, he’s Bruce Bowen, and Shane Battier because there were already players ahead of him for the same position and it’d basically be quadrupling up. Well, as of yesterday (?) PG Gilbert Arenas of the Washington Wizards pulled his groin (ouch) and will not be able to participate in the World Championships. So, basically, that leaves only 13 healthy players left and only one “cut” to make.

Do I even have to say anything more? You’re right; I will anyway. Please, OH PLEASE, leave Bruce Bowen off the roster. I think the only highlight I saw of Bowen was waving a towel in celebration after one of LeBron’s dunks. If that’s what he’s going to do, then let him travel with the team, but not be an available player. It’s so simple.

Now about the team … I kind of like the way that Coach K is changing up the starting line-up every game. Someone from ESPN.com (Chris Sheridan from the “Insider”) said in one of his recent articles that he thinks it’s a mistake not having a consistent starting line-up every game, because it will deny the U.S. from chemistry, cohesion, and continuity (yes, a lot of “C” words). Although I somewhat agree with those points, I find that switching the starting five can have some strong benefits:

1): With this USA team, all the players are superstars, all-stars, or starters for their NBA teams. They all are capable of starting (don’t make me type “except Bowen” again) and are even used of starting. If you keep switching it up, it means the coaching staff isn’t playing favorites which could/can/will keep the “team” concept in the forefront.

2): In this tournament, if you always have a different starting five, how will the other teams be able to fully prepare for us defensively? If the opposition doesn’t know who will be starting, I don’t think they’ll be able to match up against us as well as they would like to. Is the U.S. going small? Going big? Starting with shooters? Starting with a low post game? Who knows, sucka?!

3): I feel that always having a different starting five builds a different type of chemistry – it means that all players are used to playing with all teammates in various aspects of the game. What if you always had a starting 5, then in the championship game you had D. Wade foul out and Joe Johnson had to come in … and since Joe’s always been on the second unit, he hasn’t played in certain game situations (let alone pressure situations) with the rest of the “starters.” There might be some timing of plays that could mean the game. If you have practiced, started, and played with every other teammate equally, then I think that could build better continuity.

So, there. That’s what I think. Time will tell and prove who’s right (fingers crossed it’s me).

(2 Cent): Busta’s Big Bang

As Danny G mentioned last Friday in the Grab Bag session, Busta Rhymes had come out with a CD titled “The Big Bang.” He said it hasn’t left his CD player since he’s purchased it and rightfully so … it is by far his best collection of songs on any of his CD’s.

There’s never been a doubt of Busta’s rap skills – he’s always one of the first rappers wanted for any sort of remix, not to mention the many hit singles he’s had over the years. To me, his past CD’s have been a compilation of hit singles and below average songs (beats). This time around in “The Big Bang” he has none other than Dr. Dre overseeing the executive production and I feel it made the difference. Busta’s skills along with Dr. Dre’s vision made for one of the strongest CD’s of the year. There’s no filler songs, most likely because of the great producers for individual songs (i.e. said artist Dr. Dre, Swizz Beatz, Timbaland, Will.I.Am, Erick Sermon, DJ Scratch, Jellyroll, etcetera).

Overall, this CD is Busta Rhymes’ best work – all the songs sound different; there are party songs, ghetto ballads, and everything in between. The only thing missing would be the “Touch It Remix” which you can buy on iTunes or something. Even without that song, you can play it all the way through (except maybe the last song, which is some sort of Outro song without the label “Outro”). This is a can’t miss.

**My Top 5 Songs** (in no particular order)

1): “How We Do It Over Here” (Featuring Missy Elliott) … Even before this cut made it to the radio, I was loving this beat … a really raw beat (thanks to Dr. Dre) and it has a nice touch with Missy on the hook … even better if you have subs in your car.

2): “Don’t Get Carried Away” (Featuring NaS) … Another Dr. Dre produced track, this one hits hard and there’s no disputing two of the living legends of Rap on one song … just makes you feel like something BIG is coming … the orchestra in the background is an awesome touch.

3): “Cocaina” (Featuring Marsha of Floetry) … It’s pretty much coincidence that the third song is another Dr. Dre produced song (isn’t it?) but this is just a nice little beat that makes you just bob your head … I really like the piano melody in the background … my favorite part of the song is at the end with Marsha’s little cameo singing … I rewind it just for that part.

4): “In The Ghetto” (Featuring Rick James) … I mean, how can it not be a hit with the late, great Rick James on it? A very different sounding song (especially the hook), but it has a catchiness to it that is undeniable … the point that solidifies this as a hit is at the end of the song, R.J. says, “Never mind who you thought I was … I’m Rick James!” R.I.P.

5): “Been Through The Storm” (Featuring Stevie Wonder) … Again, another different sounding song (from the hard hitting tracks), but flows so well … a very strong message by Busta … Stevie on the hook is priceless.

Again, I’m trying not to review the songs on the radio ... doesn’t mean I didn’t like “Touch It”, “I Love My Chick”, or “New York Ish” … “The Big Bang” is just that – a big banger!

**My Rating: 9 out of 10 … it could be because I have every single Busta Rhymes CD and am a big fan … it could also be because every song is above average (except the last song I mentioned previously) … or it could have something to do with me listening to it for about 2 straight weeks in my car without getting tired of it … any way you slice it, a superb Hip Hop CD.

(1/2 Cent): Ask Away

No topic will be turned away! Whether it’s sports, music, your dog, your life … ask away! Write to HCP2007@gmail.com and I’ll do my best to respond!

For the next music review, I’ll give a couple hints … he was found by Eminem, is on Dr. Dre’s Aftermath Records (Shady Records), is releasing his 2nd CD, and has the line, “Real name, no gimmicks!”

Check back this Thursday for another round of my pet peeves!

Oh, for those wondering at home ... last Thursday my (our) softball team won 11-1. We thrashed them with 7 runs in the first and they never recovered. I had another 3 for 3 game (with a 2 RBI double) but I batted 7th! 7th!?! If we did not win, I would've had something to say to the "captain." Since we did, I just joked it off (i.e. I asked him, "What do I have to do to bat 3rd again? Go 4 for 3?!?). So, now we're 1-1, which is better than 0-2. Really, it is. Do the math.

HCP

Team Stats: (1-1) ... Last Game = 11-1

HCP Game Stats: AB = 3, R = 0, H = 3, 2B = 1, 3B = 0, HR = 0, RBI = 2, BA = 1.000

HCP Season Stats: AB = 6, R = 0, H = 6, 2B = 1, 3B = 0, HR = 0, RBI = 4, BA = 1.000

Woops!

Spmusic Monday will be posted tomorrow, on Tuesday. So, I didn't plan ahead! What do you expect from someone doing this for free?

Grab Bag Fridays: You and Me

(1 Cent): You Asked ...

So, I'm just replying back to a couple of the comments or e-mails I received. If you would like to chime in about anything, leave a comment by clicking on the envelope icon at the end of the columns or just e-mail HCP2007@gmail.com. The following is real responses from real people (real impressive, huh?):

Q: "I hear ya on the hug there, but then I start to think, is this the "I never want to see you again but I feel sorry for you and may God have mercy on your soul" good night hug, or is it the "I like you" hug? Maybe I'm just a little schizophrenic or something?" -- Crash N. Burnett

HCP: Well, to me at the moment it happened, I wouldn't be wondering between the two because ... hey, she hugged you! Hugs from the ladies are hugs from the ladies. To decide what kind of hug it was will probably be deciphered from the response from her for the second (or third) date. If she's all "yeah, I totally want to go out again" then the hug was the "I like you" hug ... if her response is, "I'm washing my dog's hair that night" then it was more along the lines of "I never want to see you again ..." hug.

Q: "My question is, did you have to call it a 'grab bag'? You sicko." -- James, San Jose, CA.

HCP: Yes, James. I did. I couldn't copy Bill Simmons' "Mailbag" ... plus the word "grab" can have so many connotations ... gotta love that.

Q: "Have you heard Busta Rhymes new Album???? I bought it and it still hasn't left my CD player. Once you hear it all the way through I promise you it will be one of your favs." -- Danny G

HCP: Yes, I have heard Busta's new album "The Big Bang" ... in fact, that's the perfect CD to review for this upcoming Tuesday (as I didn't purchase a new one this last week). I'll save all my comments about it for then ... but I must say, the remix of "Touch It" featuring Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd Banks, Papoose, and DMX is WAY money (unfortunately, the remix isn't on the album). It is my favorite Busta CD overall ... but I'll talk about it more Tuesday (yes, I'm leaving you in suspense).

Q: "I love reading your blog. One of my Biggest pet peeve's (not a nickname for my appendage) is people who are self righteous. I know of several people who willingly tell me my faults and then as soon as I tell them theirs, enter a rant ... I figure if we are correcting people and if we are at such a level of relationship that we can be so open as to tell people what to do, how to do it regardless of what the other persons individual cirumstances are... exit rant, they get their feelings hurt or think that I am an a**hole. Anyhow this is one of my many pet peeves.

Another one is people who are in such a damn hurry that not only do they have to change lanes numerous times while driving, usually in an attempt to get ahead by one more car length, that they won't even signal. Not signaling is the pet peeve. Today I saw a guy change lanes from the right three lanes to the left and then a mile later change three lanes to the right in commuter traffic all without SIGNALING!

Thanks for letting me comment." -- BlogMaGog

HCP: Now this is a comment and some. You bring up two very good pet peeve points (ahh, alliteration). I agree -- some people are all to willing to point out what's wrong with you but if you give some (positive?) criticism back, then they think you're a demon. It's gotta go both ways. If this helps at all, I don't think you're an a**hole ... if only for the sole fact you wrote in to my blog.

As for driving .... oh, ho, HO do I have two and a half cents about that (you see how I plugged my own site in my own site? Brilliant). I think you inspired me for next Thursday's pet peeve article. Turning without signaling is one of my biggest pet peeves while driving ... and you will hear all the other ones next week. Thanks for the idea!

Thanks to you all for writing in! Keep 'em coming!

(2 Cent): New Game Plan?

In light of my future new employment, where I will not have computer access all day, I will have to shorten my blog entries from about 5 days a week to about 3. My idea is to combine sports and music into one day, on Monday and call it "Spmusic Mondays." That will leave Tuesday open. I also plan to cut Relationship Wednesdays out ... I'm not Dr. Phil ... I'd be more like Dr. Phil Your Legs. I can still answer relationship questions or talk about such on Grab Bag Fridays (which I want to keep). That will open up Wednesday. By popular demand (three people), Pet Peeve Thursdays will stay. Friday will still be the Grab Bag (sorry James from San Jose). I feel it will be easier to keep up with 3 days than 5, especially since I'm not getting any paper for it (paper meaning money, people). What do you think?

(1/2 Cent): Grab This!

Keep writing in those comments and questions. I am impressed with the quality for just the first week. Remember: Fridays are all about you! Write in to HCP2007@Gmail.com or leave a comment at the end! Thanks and have a good weekend! HCP out!

HCP

Pet Peeve Thursdays: Getting Loans Without Sense

(1 Cent): It's Not Bad ... Until You Lie

Do you know what really chaps my cheeks? People who act like high rollers (a.k.a. Mr. Moneybags, Ballas, Richy Rich, Big Spenders, etcetera) but who can barely afford to eat off the dollar menu at a fast food joint OR people who try to lie to get money to act like the said high roller. Now, I work for a loan company -- for only two more weeks; I've taken another job (higher paying, blah, blah, blah ... that's neither here nor there) -- and I've seen things that should go straight to SNL. Now, I'm not saying getting a loan is bad -- there are times when, for some people, it is necessary. I'm not talking about all customers. I'm taking about the very small percentage that gives me material for my blog. I'm just saying don't be a poser.

Here's a list of things to avoid while getting a loan (in no particular order):

#1): If You Need A Post-Dated Check Loan, You're Probably Not "Rolling In Dough" ... So, people sometimes need a post-dated check loan because of a surprise circumstance, or an emergency and that's fine. Just don't go strolling into the place like you're Bill Gates' illegitimate step-child. Don't come to me flaunting your cubic zirconia encrusted watch that looks faker than Paris Hilton's smile, saying you earn at least $4,000.00 a month and you're CEO of this company. Ok, Mr. CEO. Here's your $500.00. Now you can go back to the swap meet and buy some more jewelry to achieve "Balla" status.

#2): You Walk In Thinking That We Are Obligated To Give You Money ... We (loan officers, managers) don't owe you anything. This isn't the Food Stamp line or the free sample table at Costco. Not everybody is going to get something. If you don't have the proper papers (or a JOB!) then no dice.

#3): You Don't Meet The Qualifications ... Speaking of not having the proper papers (or a JOB!) ... if you don't have the proper papers (i.e. a government issued I.D., job related pay stubs, etcetera) or a JOB (i.e. you go somewhere, you do some work, you receive money for your services ... I'll stop there) then you don't qualify for a loan. How do you expect to pay it back? With that $2.37 smile? With the 5 cents you might receive if you recycle the empty can of Diet Pepsi that's been sitting on the floor of your car for 3 months? C'mon, people. C'mon.

**My Favorite Story: One time, I had this lady (?) come in who tried to get a loan without: any form of I.D., no banking account, no paystubs (or even a job), no contact number (i.e. house phone or cell phone). All the while she was feverishly trying to convince me she was "good for it." Yeah, I'll lend you some money after I leave my 4 month old cousin to be babysat by Hitler and his pet tigers. Unbelievable. But, no, it doesn't end there. She was borrowing a "friend's" cell phone to call her other "friend" down at the bank to prove she really banks there. She spent 23 minutes of her "friend's" call time while talking to a bunch of people who had no clue who she was or what she was talking about. Who needs T.V.?

#4): Smelling Like You Need A Shower More Than Money ... Whether it's B.O., cigarette smoke, the "mystery order" -- or the lovely trifecta of them all -- please shower before you come to borrow money. What will happen is: you come in all stinkdafied, I'll have to hold my breath, I'll try to go through all your inaccurate paperwork faster than 'Ricky Bobby' just to try to get rid of you, I'll most likely misread something, give you money just so you can leave, then you'll default and you'll be in the hole more (financially) and I'll have another bad loan. You see all the trouble a little soap and water could have prevented?

#5): Telling You The Same Exact Things After You've Been A Customer For A Year ... How did some of you people get up to this point in your life? If you've been coming in every 2 weeks for the past 52 weeks ... and everything down to the penny has never changed ... why do you act like it's your first time in the store? Why do you feel the need to ask what the store name is called so you can write your check? Do you honestly not know?!?! If it was "Big Cash Store" 12 weeks ago ... 10 weeks ago ... 8 weeks ago ... (getting repetitive?) ... 6 weeks ago ... 4 weeks ago ... 2 weeks ago ... then what do you hypothesize it will be today!?!? Uh, uh ... "Small Pennies Store?" No, wait. Hmm ... "Big Cash Store?" Ding, ding, ding!!! Congratu-freakin-lations! What do we have for her Johnny?! She wins: not having the computer monitor thrown at her car!

#6): Not Reading Signs ... In the paraphrased words of Ben Stiller's character Derek Zoolander: words are sometimes big and scary ... but only if you read them. I know sometimes it takes too much brain-power to actually take a couple seconds and read a sign than to actually ask me a question, but that's what we have signs for (my apologies to those who can't read ... wait, what am I saying? You can't read this ... you'll never know! Ha!). For example, if I had a sign that reads: "We Do Not Cash Any Types of Checks Here" and you come to me asking if we cash checks here, I should have the right to put a little baby powder on my hand and backhand slap you. If you read the sign and ask, "I know it says you don't cash checks here, but do you cash checks from the state?" then I should have the right to slap you until my hand hurts, then slap you one more time for making it hurt.

#7): You Who Bring All 5 of Your Children In To Run Amok Inside The Store ... So, what makes you think that I'm going to like your children turned rabid baby apes anymore than you do? If you can't stand them, then there's a good chance (as in, if you were in Vegas, you would double down right now) that I can't stand them. Especially if they're screaming and yelling in my cavernous office while ripping apart the magazines and moving around the chairs and tables after they got done tearing out the green, fake moss out of my green, fake plant. Fantastic. Then, you proceed to give me a half-hearted apology? Yeah, well, why don't you just complete the ransackage and spit in my face as your spawns give me the bird. Oh, and here's your money. May I suggest a cattle prod? How about a lightweight trident (traditionally known as the trishula)?

#8): Getting Angry At Me Because You Don't Have The Money To Pay Off ... This is the special kind of person who gets upset at me because their cash flow is less than envious and they're not financial equipped to make their payment. So, let me get this straight. You chose how much to borrow. You chose the due date of the payment. You know how much money you will have on said due date. As the due date arrives, you get angry at me because of the amount that needs to be paid AND because you didn't "know" the due date was so soon ... uhh, even though you chose it to begin with. Huh? I'm sorry that the title "part-time, seasonal sanitation engineer" sounded a little more pecuniarily affluent than it really was ... just don't take it out on me.

#9): Stealing My Pens ... Yes, this is somewhat of a small thing, but dag! Pens don't grow on trees, ya know (look it up). I've had some people ask to take a pen, and if I'm feeling all humanitarian-like, I'll let it leave the store. But, if time after time, every instance you leave the store and take my pen, it gets annoying. I don't want to have to get one of those little ball-bearing chain and anchor thingies to keep my pens captive. But I will, if I have to.

#10): Taking Out A Loan and Leaving The Country (Without Intent On Returning) ... Ahh, yes. The ol' "Take Your Money and Buy A Plane Ticket To Never Return" move. Classic. Yet, I still hate it. The effrontery of you people! Go ahead, have a good laugh all the way back to Chile on your "free" flight. I just hope somewhere down the line, you choke on some indigenous, tropical fruit. Don't think we don't have our collection agency after you ... we have your SSN and a picture I.D. As soon as your pinky toe sets foot onto American soil, we'll be on you faster than Andy Dick on Lance Bass at a pajama party.

(2 Cent): No Ill Will

I don't mean to sound heartless, but these are just some of the experiences that I don't think are necessary and/or shouldn't happen. Just don't act like something you're not. And if you're annoying, then at least for the 5 minutes you spend with me, act like you're not.

Just think before you do things -- this might take some a couple minutes, I know. Plus, if you're hard up for cash (haven't we all been at one point or another?) just don't act like you're the Prince of Whales. So, the next time you want to flaunt that shirt that says "Bling, Bling" but you need some money just to "Eat, Eat" then just re-prioritize. I'm just sayin'.

(1/2 Cent): Gimme Your Pet Peeves

Write in and let me know what gets under your skin. I'm sure it peeves me off too and then we can share in the stupidity of others together. Aww, good times. Write to HCP2007@gmail.com or just leave a comment using the envelope icon below.

HCP

Relationship Wednesdays: Friends Like Family

(1 Cent ): What Would We Do Without Them?

Sometimes I sit and think about what I would be like without my close friends. They've done so much for me -- you know who you are -- that I honestly don't know what kind of person I'd be without them. One tends to usually be around their friends more often than family in certain instances (especially if college or a job have taken you away from home). I'm not saying that friends are more important than family, but as you grow older and life takes you in a route away from your family -- childhood -- then friends become a bigger aid in your life.

It seems as though it is easier oft times to confide in close friends than one of your family members since they are one of your peers -- they're relatively close in age, have the same interests and likes, and seem to understand more closely where you're coming from. Your good friends listen to you, help you out with whatever and whenever, never look down on you after bad choices or mistakes, and are just good company ... people you can laugh with ... people you can cry with. In essence, good friends are family without the similar DNA.

(2 Cent): You Have To Be A Good Friend, Too

You can't expect to have good friends without being a good friend. It would be selfish to think that you're owed a good friendship by others without putting the time, effort, and love into being one yourself. If you want to be friends with someone who's dependable, funny, caring ... then try being those things to others.

A couple of my good friends from high school, middle school, and even elementary school -- whom I don't see more than maybe once a year, if that -- are still good friends to me because they effort is made by both parties to keep in touch. Whether it be a simple phone call or an e-mail (I have one friend that I have done fantasy sports with for basketball and baseball since high school, and even though we're in different states, it still maintains that camaraderie that is vital for a friendship), if the effort is there, you will find that rewarding relationship.

(1/2 Cent): Any Questions?

If you have any relationship questions, send them on in. Whether it be with a significant other, family, or your pet ... ask away! Send them to HCP2007@gmail.com or ask it in the Comments below.

HCP

Music Tuesdays: "The Year of the Dog ... Again"

(Cent 1): DMX makes you feel "Blown Away" ...

In comparing this CD to his last one, The Year of the Dog ... Again feels more complete and has better songs overall. There's no denying DMX's talent (or voice presence) for rapping but it seems as though the beats this time around match that level. The most notable producers, Swizz Beatz and Scott Storch, make up a good portion of the hits on this album but the intensity of quality stays high throughout.

Usually, I have to skip through a couple tracks because they're not catchy enough or are too repetitive to listen to, but all the tracks (excluding track 1 which is the intro and track 14, which is "The Prayer VI") are more than good enough to flow out your speakers.

Last Tuesday, I predicted a 7 out of 10 based solely on, 1) his last album was pretty average by DMX standards (about a 5 out of 10) and, 2) he was due for a decent album. After listening to it for the whole week in my car, I can safely say it deserves an 8 out of 10. All of the tracks are solid; there are good party songs ... there are some emotion enducing songs ... it has at least one song that makes my "I Can Play It All Day and Not Get Tired Of It" list ... and after you listen to it all the way though, it leaves you wanting more. I don't know if I like it more because it X-ceeded X-pectations, but I am impressed and if you're an avid DMX fan there's no reason you shouldn't add this to your collection.

(Cent 2): My Top 5 Songs

Not necessarily in order:

1): (Track 11) "Blown Away" (Featuring Jinx & Janyce) ... Not a party song, but personally my favorite ... I would liken it to X's previous slower melody tracks "Slippin'", "Don't Gotta Go Home" featuring Monica, or "I Miss You" featuring Faith Evans ... just a really good song you can vibe and think with ... is it just me, or is the synthesized-singing chipmunk one of the coolest sounds? (Nice use of the sax, too).

2): (Track 4) "Come Thru (Move)" (Featuring Busta Rhymes) ... Although it sounds pretty similar on a particular sound to Redman's hit "Let's Get Dirty (I Can't Get In Da Club)" -- maybe because they're both Def Jam artists? -- this is still a very raw, catchy beat that has none other than Busta himself laying down the second verse ... if there is to be another single coming out on the radio, I would be sure that this would be it.

3): (Track 3) "I Run Ish" (Featuring Big Stan) ... Swizz Beatz has created a killer track with this song, but if you don't like the vulgar word for "poop" shouted out many times during the chorus, then I'd advise the edited version (the version I buy) ... still a hard hitting, get your adrenaline flowing song.

4): (Track 9) "Give 'Em What They Want" ... One of the Storch productions (the other being "Lord Give Me A Sign") ... although the hook might get a tad repetative, the song is still a hit ... it is one of the 'pump you up' songs that DMX is well known for.

5): (Track 12) "Goodbye" ... Another jam that uses a slower melody and makes you really listen to X's words ... I like the chorus and his message.

**Side Note: I try not to review the songs that have been played on the radio (i.e. "We In Here" and "Lord Give Me A Sign") because if you're wanting to buy the album, you already know if you like them or not ... unless they're one of my favorite songs and just can't leave it off My Top 5.

(Cent 1/2): Next Week's Review ...

I don't think there was a new release CD that I felt I should purchase this week (although Cassie and Rick Ross' albums were close), so next week's review will feature an artist that I have bought within the last month or so. Who will it be? Who knows?! I'm tricky like that! (Okay, okay ... I have no idea yet, either). Write in if you would like me to review one (could be old school or recent -- write to HCP2007@gmail.com).

Sports Mondays: Who You With?

(Cent 1): I Bleed Purple and Gold ... And Dodger Blue

Thinking back to a time when I was too young to even speak, I have blurred memories of a television broadcasting the team that bore the Purple and Gold. I recollect that I had no clue what they were doing exactly, but the fact that they were running fast and putting this ball through the hoop while thousands of fans screamed and cheered intrigued me. Another Laker for life was born.

Around the same time, through the same foggy lens known as the childhood memory, there were people wearing these weird contraptions on their heads. It was made out of blue and had this unique symbol on the front which I later found out to be the letters "L" and "A" overlapping. I liked blue and again, I liked watching these guys on TV wearing it while they hit a ball and the crowd went wild. The Dodgers were now my team.

This is how my sports affection sprouted and it remains the same to this day, but only deeper. Through the "Showtime Era" ... during Kirk Gibson's heroic homerun with pumping fist ... through Lakers' dynasties with Magic, Kareem, and Worthy with Riles at the helm (then later Kobe, Shaq, and Phil) ... and also the heartaches ... the incident with Magic having to retire early on unprecedented terms ... the Dodgers not making it to the World Series since 1988 ... the incident with Kobe that circled not only him but everything Laker related .... Everything that happened to those teams, to those players, to that city I felt I was a part of. I cheer for them; I support who ever puts on those uniforms (except Karl Malone, but that's a different article). My life would feel a little empty without them. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that.

You see, things change in life. You might switch jobs. Move to a different city. Graduate high school ... then college. Loved ones are lost to life's unpredictable circumstances. People come and go, in and out of your life ... my teams won't. Sure, players switch teams, get traded, or even retire ... but their pedigree will always be with them. They will always be a part of that storied franchise's history ... they will always be a memory from my life ... and as long as I am able to, I will follow and cheer on my teams, from the lottery to the championship parade, I will be there.

(Cent 2): What Else Is Sports?

Call me a little crazy (but not to my face) but I find that sports has mirrored my life in certain ways. For instance, take the Los Angeles Dodgers right now. Since the All-Star break, they had lost 13 out of 14 games. Currently, they are riding a 9 game winning streak, sweeping three different series. First, they were dead in the water. They had no chance of getting something positive going. Now, they're the hottest team in baseball and everything is going well for them. They had to remember it was a long season (162 games, not including a possible playoff series or two) and that losing and winning streaks happen. Hey, it's baseball.

I feel like in life, we go through "winning" and "losing" streaks too. Sometimes we feel like we're doing everything we can do to succeed and we just can't get a call to go our way. We fall short. You just have to remember things come back around ... just as it's a long season, it's a long life (in relative terms). We have hours, weeks, months, years to deal with. We're in a seemingly never ending season with more streaks than Mark Roberts. Like the Dodgers have recently, you have to keep your head up and know each day is a new chance to turn things around. The championship attitude is to never give up -- in anything -- and to not use excuses. I feel this is the attitude we need to carry on our daily grind of life.

(1/2 Cent): My 5 Seconds of Fame

So, I figured since Mondays will concentrate on sports that I would keep a little running log of my new softball season (city league). Our team name is the Wannabes (no, I had no input in the name) and our team color is yellow -- at least that's what they say, because our jerseys haven't even arrived yet. My number should be 24, which I chose because it will be worn by Kobe for the upcoming 2006-2007 NBA season.

In my last entry for Grab Bag Fridays I wrote a short summary of the heartbreaking one run loss. To elaborate on the game ... it is a co-ed league, where you have to bat male, female, male, female, etcetera. You can have 10 position players (1 is a "rover" -- usually an extra outfielder). We play up to 7 innings or an hour, which ever comes first. Our season runs through August and September with a playoff tournament starting in October. There is only one game a week, on Thursdays.

So, for the first game I played CF for the first half of the game, but then our pitcher dislocated her finger while catching a line drive shot back to her (hey, this league is hardcore!) so we had to switch some positions up. I finished playing SS (which I never have since, uh, never ... not even in little league or high school) ... which resulted in an error from yours truly (and one that might be constituted as an error, but I rule as a hit because by the time it passed me, I was in short LF). Luckily they didn't turn into runs. Yes, I did make a couple plays that didn't result in an error ... no, I don't think I should play there again. I'd prefer 3B or OF.

We did play a lot better than we had practiced, again only losing 8-7 in the last inning with 2 outs. After they started off the game with a homerun off the first pitch and me thinking to myself in the OF, "Oh, boy ... this is going to be a LONG night" we finished up nicely. If it wasn't for a lot of defensive shakiness and a couple of baserunning mistakes, we could have taken it. I'll keep you posted.

Team Stats, Wannabes: (W-L) = (0-1) ... Last Game = L, 8-7

HCP Stats: Games (G) = 1, AB (At Bats) = 3, R (Runs) = 0, H (Hits) = 3, 2B (Doubles) = 0, 3B (Triples) = 0, HR (Home Runs) = 0, RBI (Runs Batted In) = 2, BA (Batting Average) = 1.000

HCP

Grab Bag Fridays: Go USA!

(Cent 1): Team USA

So, because I wasn't computer savvy and didn't take off the "anyone can leave messages" filter, I didn't have too much to go on for reader's suggestions (until yesterday). Also, because I didn't create Two And A Half Cents in time for Sports Monday, I wanted to use today's piece to comment on the USA Men's Senior National Team for basketball.

First off, I don't think this team will be at full power without my boy Kobe (who needed some corrective surgery on his knee -- nothing "major" and is rehabing fine). He will be ready for the 2008 Olympics. Despite that subtraction, this 2006 team is more than capable of putting the Red, White, and Blue back on top of the basketball world. Currently, the team has been downsized to 15 players (from the 24 man roster) due to personal reasons, injury, or a "cut" (even though they're still on the national roster). To see the complete roster, click: http://www.usabasketball.com/seniormen/2006/06_mwc_roster.html.

The team will need to trim the 15 to 12 for the official roster sometime before August 19th, when the first day of the FIBA World Championships start (I think more can travel with the team, but only 12 can play). Of the remaining players, I predict that these 3 players will be left off because it makes the most basketball sense.

#1): Amare Stoudemire (C/PF) - Unfortunately won't be able to participate because he's still not fully healthy after surgery to both his knees (at separate times) last year ... if healthy in 2008, there's no way he's not starting.

#2): Bruce Bowen (SF/G) - To me, I was surprised that he even was considered for the 24 man roster -- and not just because he's 35 years old and committed for 3 years. He, at best, is a defensive "specialist" (i.e. he's below average at every other skill set that he has to spend all of his energy on defense to even stay in The League). Personally, I even question his defensive capabilities in the FIBA tournament. For the Worlds, the FIBA referees call handchecking or any type of contact more frequently. The last I remember, Bowen slaps, pokes, hacks, and checks practically the whole time he's on you (ball or not). He would foul out in about 47.3 seconds in this type of competition. Just ask his San Antonio Spurs teammate Tim Duncan (our quote unquote "best player" last Team USA) about the refs. The refs (and international rules) bothered Duncan so much that he's never playing for us again. This doesn't bode well for Bowen's game. Please, Coach K ... and any other person who helps decide the final roster: DON'T INCLUDE BOWEN. He does one thing and that will be negated in this tournament. You've been warned.

#3): Shane Battier (SF) - This selection was a lot tougher since Shane is a good guy and does everything a little above average. He's fundamentally sound, won't even consider about complaining about playing time, and fits in perfectly with the team. So, what's the problem? Only that LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Dwayne Wade, Joe Johnson, and even Antawn Jamison are ahead of you for the same position(s). I don't see how Battier can bump any of those guys off. Unless they don't want to take 3 point guards (which would leave off Kirk Hinrich), then Battier has to go. Sorry, Shane. We still show our gratitude for you for representing our country.

In essence, I'd have a starting five that looks like this:

PF = Chris Bosh
SF = LeBron James
C = Dwight Howard
SG = Dwayne Wade
PG = Chris Paul

That would leave Carmelo Anthony, Gilbert Arenas and Joe Johnson to have some explosive scoring off the bench. This team is not weak by any stretch of the imagination. With that said, I'm sure there are people out there thinking, "this is a team, not an And 1 contest" or "you need to have glue guys and veterans, not just All-Stars - that's what Bowen and Battier are." Please. You can't justify a final 12 spot for them, especially Bowen. Are you telling me under any scenario, having Bowen on would be justifiable? Name one other player of the remaining 14 (13 if you don't count Amare) the San Antonio Spurs would keep Bowen for. If the players' respective NBA teams offered any of the players for Bowen straight up, he would be on the first thing smoking out of the Lone Star State. Why should Team USA be different? You want younger players with athleticism and who can play defense AND offense (i.e. create their own shot, not have to shoot from one spot on the entire floor, etcetera). Bowen doesn't fit the description ... he's a good guy to play against in practice but that's it ... Battier has other guys ahead of him that do the job better. 'Nuff said.

(Cent 2): Walking Journal

Instead of the "Running Diary" I've decided to do a "Walking Journal" (please save all praise for my clever use of synonyms for the comment section). This took place during the televised exhibition game of Team USA vs. Puerto Rico, which took place on Thursday the 3rd of August at 9:00pm Mountain Time. Here's what transpired in my mind during the game:

1st Quarter, 9:15 (time left in the quarter) - I just rushed home from my first softball game in time to catch most of the opening quarter (more on my softball game in the 1/2 Cent) ... good starting line-up, I was one off (they started 'Melo over Howard).

1st Q, 8:20 - 'Melo has all 4 points for the US ... we're looking a wee bit too anxious.

1st Q, 7:58 - Wade has a pretty hoop and a foul ... P' Rico starting to look overwhelmed?

1st Q, 3:35 - Back and forth scoring ... we're shooting (and missing) a lot of 3's ... our transition 'D' is looking sketchy ... 'Melo still on fire, 3 for 4 which gets him at 9 points (now I can see better why they use 'Melo in the first unit) ... where's Arenas?

1st Q, 2:36 - Chris Paul to LeBron in an ally-oop layup ... we need mo' of that!

1st Q, 2:04 - Bosh at the free throw line, US down by one point ... huh?

1st Q, 0:54 - Paul puts us up by 4 points at the line.

End of 1st Q - LeBron and Paul seen in the end of quarter replays doing salutes after good plays ... homage to troops? I like it. I'm now saluting after I do good things.

2nd Q, 9:30 - Whole new line-up ... we'll see what happens (oh, there you are, Arenas).

2nd Q, 7:47 - Blocking call on Battier was bullpoop! Boo to FIBA refs!

2nd Q, 6:11 - Bowen enters the game; I die a little inside.

2nd Q, 5:35 - After Brand hits a nice mid-range jumper on the baseline, we're up 36-33 ... is it bad that I'm getting nervous?

2nd Q, 4:25 - Bowen has a turnover! Cut 'em! Cut! Cut!

2nd Q, 1:25 - Up by 10 with the ball ... Arenas drains a 3! Our deep team is wearing down P' Rico ....

Halftime! 1st half summary ... I like the strategy of using two different groups of 7 players each quarter ... this allows for both enough time to get into the flow of the game, but keeps fresh legs out there each quarter. This will wear down most teams and has seemed to do that against P' Rico beautifully, as they didn't score much against our Group 2. I'm thoroughly enjoying this halftime, behind the scenes of the USA players show. **(Woo hoo! Greg Maddox gets his 1st win as a Dodger ... gotta love the running sports ticker).

3rd Q, 9:12 - We start out with three steals, each ending with a highlight reel, breakaway dunk ... looking like we all envisioned! Gooooo defense!

3rd Q, 5:47 - Where's Paul? Seemingly, we switched around our groups ... up by 20 now, feeling comfy.

3rd Q, 3:12 - LeBron gets called for a "charge" (i.e. the defender flops to the floor) ... with a 23 point lead, it seems as if we're pulling away and it's in the bag.

3rd Q, 2:12 - Wade on a break away and has a windmill dunk! Game over, man! Game over!

End of 3rd Q - The US 83, P' Rico 48 ... capped by a LONG D-Wade 3 pointer to end the period.

4th Q, 8:47 - 'Melo for 3! 89-50 USA is up ... I think we can win by 50.

4th Q, 8:30 - Bowen airballs (AIRBALLS!) a wide open 3 pointer ... need any more proof for him not being on the final 12?!?! Cut! CUT!

4th Q, 6:19 - I've conceded I really like our jerseys ... props to the designer.

4th Q, 5:43 - People leaving the arena already? Really? I guess they don't want to miss too much of the gambling scene (they are playing in Vegas).

4th Q, 3:57 - TV announcer (the guy not Bill Walton) says that Bowen is the only USA player to not score ... it's official. Bowen = CUT!

Final: USA 114, P' Rico 69 ... Bowen 0, HCP 0 ... hey, look ... Bowen and I both didn't score. Weird.

Recap: I like our team a lot ... we started out slow but turned it on after we wore them down with our second unit ... go USA!

(1/2 Cent): My Softball Game

So, I was late with the Walking Journal because my softball game was from 8pm to a little past 9pm. As for me, I went 3 for 3 (all singles) with 2 RBI's, including the game tying RBI to notch the game at 7 (put a runner on and they're home, baby!). Our team is now up 8-7, with two outs in the last inning and we're trying to close this sucker ... runners on 1st and 3rd ... our pitcher walks the bases loaded ... then he walks in the tying run ... it's now 8-8, 2 outs, and the pressure is on ... then we get a shallow pop fly ... I'm playing shortstop, and run towards center field ... there's no way I could make it, our center fielder loses it in the lights (I still love her) and it drops, we lose 9-8. Heartbreaking, yes. Well, as they probably say on the Kansas City Royals ... at least I did good.

Also, make sure to send in those comments or e-mail me at HCP2007@gmail.com for Grab Bag ideas! I'll post the best one(s) next Friday. Have a good weekend, everyone! HCP out!

HCP

Pet Peeve Thursdays: Gym Etiquette

(1 Cent): The Canon

Do you know what really chaps my cheeks? Those people with annoying habits and/or tendencies that impede other people's activities. To kick off this first Pet Peeve installment, I chose to talk about these lame people from the gym. In no particular order:

#1): Not Wiping Sweat Off of Anything … I’m not just talking about sweat from their forehead, either. As much fun as it sounds to be wallowing in a pool of another’s “liquid exertion” this has to stop. There’s even rules to help prevent this from happening (i.e. you must bring a towel, a sign that says you must wipe down the machine after use, etcetera). Should this not be monitored more closely? If I see one more freshly planted sweat stain in the shape of a deformed heart on any seat, I’m going to snap.

*Hygiene Tip: The same towel you use to dry your nether-region, don’t use for your face … this just happened the other day … I wish I were lying.

#2): Grunting, Groaning, or Yelling … I understand that sometimes on the last rep of the last set you need to give out a little, “grr” to expend that last bit of energy. I don’t understand the need to moan and groan like you’re auditioning for a C-level 70’s porno. I mean, every movement? Every rep? Are you serious? Unless you’re trying to show us what a grizzly bear sounds like passing a pine cone (sideways), tone it down.

#3): Wearing Sunglasses While Lifting … I swear on everything Schwarzenegger that I’ve seen this look on two separate occasions. There is no – NO – legit explanation for you wearing Ray-Bans while lifting unless you’re shielding your fovea from your pasty reflection in the mirror. On second thought, that’s not even a worthy excuse. A totally heinous move.

*Best Part: The first time I saw this crime, it was from an 18 year old kid who couldn’t be more than a buck-twenty. Think Vin Diesel’s unfinished, pine coat rack with sunglasses.

#4): Trainers – You’re Too “Hands On” … If your client needs to get a Hep B shot after your training session, then you might be a tad too touchy. Your client does not need to be groped on their shoulders, arms, stomach, buttocks, or legs in order to know their lifting form is correct. Be an adult. Use your words.

#5): Couples Holding Hands While Going From Station To Station … This is just an unnecessary act while in the gym. Sure, you’re in love and that’s great but you have to pick your spots (and the weight room isn’t one of them). Nobody wants to see that; plus I don’t feel like playing a little game of Red Rover just to get through the narrow walkways between machines. You want to hold something? Try a dumbbell.

#6): Blatant Staring and Flexing In Mirror … Basically, these people need to find another way to stroke their ego. Yes, yes, it’s a free country … you go to the gym to get a better body and should be able to see the fruits of your labor, blah, blah, blah. There’s nothing wrong with noticing yourself, but there is moderation in all things. Other than looking narcissistic (which is a great turn on I hear), it just looks pathetic. It’s like they’re thinking, “Look at me everybody! I need attention now!” Save face and halt, Mr. Olympia.

#7): Incessant Talking, Holding Up Workouts … No one else around you cares that you earned a D- on your chemistry exam, that you’re going to be a famous guitarist, or that Kelly told Christine to not tell Jessica that Brandy told you off. If you’re going to have Social Hour, kindly get off the machine (and then wipe it down). It’s the considerate thing to do. If you need to tell a story, then at least chat while you’re doing your workout. Now go, you little multi-tasker you!

#8): A Brother of #7, Cell Phones In The Gym … Are you really that important that you need to carry and answer your cell phone every 5 minutes? Really? Unless you’re a doctor, my bookie, or a leader of a distinguished mafia there is no defensible reason to carry it with you. None. Please don’t turn the pec deck into a phone booth.

#9): Changing The Treadmill TV’s Without Asking At Least One Person If They Were Watching Something … This isn’t your house; there’s at least a half dozen other people watching the TV, so be polite and at least ask the person next to you.

*My Favorite: I was watching some SportsCenter and just starting my 30-minute stationary trek when all of a sudden this lady grabs a remote and without even looking at anyone else, changes it to The View. Thanks for making my run even more excruciating (yes, the show still had Star Jones).

#10): Racking Up The Weights … I know that you’re buff and all, lifting up those 100 lbs dumbbells, but could you use some of that said buffness and put them back where they belong? I hate going for a certain weight, but needing to go all Jack Sparrow and explore the entire gym for them. Moreover, I know the number “35” looks awfully close to the number “10” but if you do decide to be courageous enough to put the weights back, will you be a little more attentive to the poundage? Maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe it was too dark to see with your sunglasses on.

(2 Cent): Who, me?

Okay, truth be told, I’ve been guilty of #7 a couple of times in my life but it’s definitely not a habit. We’re all trying to be considerate (aren’t we?) but to do any or all of these faux pas on a regular basis deserves the revocation of your gym membership and/or having someone else’s sweat sprayed directly into your eyes with a SuperSoaker. I’m just sayin’.

(1/2 Cent): What Chaps Your Cheeks?

Write in and let me know some of your pet peeves. I bet if it bothers you, it most likely bothers me. I’ll incorporate the best one(s) next Thursday. Write to HCP2007@gmail.com with the e-mail heading of “Pet Peeve Thursdays.”

HCP

Relationship Wednesdays: When To Make A Move?

(1 Cent): Go For It!

I think that a lot of people spend too much time wondering if the person of their attention likes them back or not. Why not just make a move or express how you feel? Will it kill you to be open with things? It makes for a lot less sleepless nights.

This goes for both males and females alike. Guys: girls like when you're straightforward -- but not abrasive or annoying. If you're at a point where you've been "hanging out" and spending an abundant amount of time together while feeling that she may like you in that way, then why not just find out for sure? Unless you feel going "middle school" on her is the way to go -- going through friends or roommates, not making a move until they do, having a 'check yes or no if you like me' paper -- do something. Now, I'm not going to make a list of things you should do because every situation calls for, well, something different. Maybe some roses to open the date ... for others, perhaps a kiss on the cheek to say goodnight. A little extra effort will convey to the girl, "Okay, he seems to like me" and will get the ball rolling.

(2 Cent): Don't Be Shy

Now for the girls: guys don't think it's weird if the girl is a little aggressive (in a non-violent way). We won't think you're cheap and easy (pending on what you do) and it makes us guys feel that we're wanted. They can be little things that normally you wouldn't do too, like a text to ask how our day is going or holding on a couple seconds longer on a goodnight hug. I mean, c'mon, sometimes you gals don't even do anything and (dumb) guys think that you're flirting with them. It doesn't take much.

As previously mentioned, it doesn't take a big production to express that you like someone. If you think you need to rent a blimp with an electric scrolling marquee to say "I like you" then you are either, a) too rich and need to be my friend or, b) trying a tad too hard. The point is to find out if the potential love muffin is interested in the way you are -- to see if you're going to be 'just friends' or more. I say why put it off? If they do like you back in that way then great! Aren't you glad you went all Joey from Friends on her? If not, then at least you know for sure and don't have to spend every breakfast nervously poking at your Cheerios wondering.

(1/2 Cent): Send In Those Questions!

Have something on your mind? Have a question that you would like answered? Send those babies in via e-mail to HCP2007@gmail.com. It can be any type of relationship, whether a love interest, friend, co-worker, parents ... anything. I'll answer the best one(s) next Wednesday. Please title the e-mail heading: "Relationship Wednesdays."

**Disclaimer: HCP is not a certified Life Coach (yet), credentialed psychologist (yet), or psychic (at least not all the time). HCP is only giving out advice based upon his and friend's experiences and is intended as only that: advice. HCP is not responsible for anything bad that may result in following his advice -- but will take full credit if said outcome is positive. HCP will stop typing in third-person now.

Music Tuesdays: How It All Began

(1 cent): Why Hip Hop Is Good To Me

Some people have questioned why I mainly listen to Hip Hop (and R&B) music while seemingly ignore all other genres. Well, it goes like this ....

Circa 1994 is when I acquired a taste for music in general. It seems to me that some of my friends had started to listen to music earlier because of older siblings (I was the oldest) or because they are much cooler than me. During this time and throughout high school was when Hip Hop started to become more mainstream, at least from what I recall from where I grew up in Central California. This is when Bad Boy Records started taking over the Hip Hop scene (in large part because of Sean "Diddy" Combs) with artists such as The Notorious B.I.G., Ma$e, and R&B group 112. Also, the whole West Coast regime of Dr. Dre, Tupac, Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, etcetera were also blowing up air waves with their various hits. Just as Diddy said in his song "Don't Stop What You're Doing" on his Album No Way Out, "And out West, we want ya'll to understand; all we wanna do is make you dance." That's what Hip Hop -- generally -- makes me feel like doing: dancing, moving around, and having a good time. Also, Rap also had records that made me see the world through a different set of eyes. Although I wasn't living in the ghetto or projects; I was not a gangster by any stretch of the imagination, I was still able to relate to feeling like you don't fit in, and to a smaller scale being misunderstood.

Almost intertwined with Rap and Hip Hop is R&B. During the previously stated time I had also grown fond of R&B crooners such as said group 112, Ginuwine, and Dru Hill to name a few. Their songs were more geared towards relationships and the love or heartache they could bring -- those were feelings that I could and wanted to relate to.

Yes, yes, there is what some might call a "bad" side to Hip Hop (i.e. misogynistic and explicit lyrics, sometimes exuberant wasting of wealth, the glorification of gangster life, etcetera). I don't let a couple of songs or certain artists ruin the whole. One can find "bad" in almost anything in life -- it's up to you to find the good, if that's what you're seeking. I choose to buy the radio edit version of CD's since that's the version I get used to on the air waves anyway.

Now, don't get me wrong. I can and have appreciated the occasional rock song by, say, Green Day or Aerosmith. I've even found myself liking an Eagles song or Journey (wow, did I really type that?). But the only music that really makes my head nod; the only beats that evoke any real sentiment or allow me to reminisce is Hip Hop. I don't like it because it's the *cool* thing to do; I like it because I grew up with it, because it makes me want to dance; and not to be overlooked, because it isn't Country (sorry Garth).

(2 Cent): Skateboard P

My goal is to have one new CD review every week (on Music Tuesdays). In case I haven't made it clear enough in the previous paragraphs, I'm going to be focusing on the Hip Hop and R&B genre. For the weeks ahead that won't produce a new release of an artist that I want to buy, I will review a CD from my personal collection -- or something else, I'm kind of wingin' it right now.

As to give me enough time to listen thoroughly to the newly purchased CD, next week will be the review for today's new release. Last week's purchase and today's review will be Pharrell's "In My Mind."

Unbeknownst to me before the purchase (or the first time listening through), Pharrell produced all of the songs sans Chad Hugo -- the other half of the The Neptunes. I could tell that there was something a little different about the tracks, but not in a pejorative manner. I just figured the slight change in style was a conscious, minor change to keep their (Pharrell's) sound fresh.

With that said, if you like Pharrell, The Neptunes productions, or their band N.E.R.D., then you will find this CD pleasing to the ear. As with anything, there will always be people who like it and those who don't. With that in mind, if you have always thought Pharrell and company had crazy-keep-you-guessing beats and that he had a contagious elocution, then it is a solid buy.

**My Top 5 Songs** (in no particular order)

- Track 14: "Number One" featuring Kanye West ... very catchy beat, makes you want to get up and do a little jig ... Kanye and Pharrell on one track is a can't miss.

- Track 12: "Baby" featuring Nelly ... a get up out of your chair beat with a raw electric guitar ... add Nelly with his distinctive rap/croon voice and it's a hit.

- Track 09: "Young Girl" featuring Jay-Z ... it has a smooth synthesized, almost 80's beat ... perhaps their rapping about a topic that I could relate to? Hmm ....

- Track 07: "That Girl" featuring Snoop Dogg ... nice vibin' groove along with a nice hook ... Snoop adds that edge that makes this song worthy of 'repeat status.'

- Track 10: "Take It Off (Dim The Lights)" ... a hypnotic melody ... you can totally just sit back and chill to this track ....

**Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10 ... honestly nothing to complain about but missing that one song that could challenge for a song of the year contest.

(1/2 Cent): D to the X!

Today's new release purchase is none other than DMX with his entitled LP "Year of the Dog, Again." Based off of his last album "Grand Champ" -- which in my opinion had only about 3 really good songs peppered over slightly below average songs, by X's standards -- I predict a comeback with a strong 7 (saying that his last album was a 5). Until next Music Tuesday!

HCP