Pet Peeve Thursdays: Stupid Laziness
(1 Cent): Lazy = Loser!
Do you know what really chaps my cheeks? Lazy people. I'm not talking about when someone is lethargic or tired because of a lack of sleep, but that the person actually goes out of their way to avoid strenuous movements to save some energy ... to go out and be more lazy. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about efficiency, but there's just some things that I don't condone. This article is inspired by "Smooth Like KY" from last week's Grab Bag Friday. They are as follows:
#1) People Who Drive Around The Parking Lot, Searching And Searching For A Spot Near The Entrance ... I mean, all that driving -- wasting time, gas, your life! -- just to find a spot that's like, 20 feet closer? Can you really not walk that much more? All that time you spent, driving around for "the perfect spot" you could have walked into your destination ... about three times over. This is especially a no-no for gym goers. If you're needing to park close enough so you don't have to walk too far as you're going to the gym ... well, there are places reserved for you somewhere in Dante's Circles of Hell.
#2) People Who Go Out Of Their Way To Use The "Automated Door" As Opposed To The "I Have To Open It By Pushing On It Door" ... Is it so freakin' impossible to open a door yourself? Technology is great, but some people are abusing it like they were a Catholic priest (too soon? It was too soon, wasn't it?). I've actually seen someone go up to a door, discovered that it was not opening for his majestic self, and then walked further down the store front to walk through the automated door. I wanted to shoot him with a beebee gun in the back of his knees.
#3) Leaving The TV On A Certain Channel Because You Can't Find The Remote ... Is it really worth watching "Walker Texas Ranger" for 3 hours because you can't walk 3 feet to the TV to change the channel? I'm sure your ancestors would be proud that they risked their lives fleeing to American on the Mayflower just so you could avoid the hardships of the trek to your plasma flat screen TV. Bravo!
#4) Pushing Around A Shopping Cart For 3 Or Less Items ... I've seen someone at the checkout line in a grocery store that only had a loaf of bread, a can of vegetables, and something like a a Kool-Aid packet in his cart. I'll repeat that: CART! There were no kids present. He didn't walk with a cane. Unbelievable! At least grab the little hand basket ... for goodness sakes, a cart?! Oh, you forgot to buy the 8 pack of tortillas ... better ask for assistance to your car!
#5) Wearing A Digital Watch Because Tyring To Figure Out Those Sneaky Hand Watches Requires Effort ... If you refuse to wear a watch with hands because it's too hard to read ... then I feel I need to smash your Adam's apple with a rubber mallet. Numbers can be scary too, ya know. Like, 1-8-7 ....
#6) People Who Scribble Their "Signature" Because It Takes Too Long To Actually Write The Letters In Their Name ... I have nothing wrong with cool, artistic signatures. I'm talking about the people who have a signature who looks like they put the pen in their left armpit and then endured a case of convulsions. Just write it right, alright?
#7) Using My Trash Can Because Yours Is Full Of The Trash That You Hadn't Left On The Curb For The City To Pick Up ... 'Nuff said.
#8) Having A Ton Of Energy And Hustle On Offense, But All Of A Sudden, All Your Strength Is Gone For Defense ... This is more for when I play basketball, but these are the ball hogs that think they're Kobe but they're really like a half-skilled Greg Foster. 'Sure, I'll shoot every time I touch the ball, but I can't run back on "D" and guard my player.' I hate having these guys on my team.
#9) People Who Don't Finish What They Set Out To ...
(2 Cent): Pet Peeve And A Half
So, the other day, I just saw someone drop a cigarette on the floor as they entered a store, and then as they walked out they picked it up and started smoking it again. Now, is this because they're conservative? Is this because they're addicted beyond repair? Do they love the taste of asphalt and nicotine combined? I'm just dumbfounded.
Also, one time I remember a smoker putting his cigarette in the tread of his tires, as a holder. Then, after he was done doing his business in the store, dude goes back to the tire, gets his beloved cancer stick, and puffs away like nothing abnormal just occurred. Wow. Can I have your autograph?
(1/2 Cent): Send Me Another Round, Bar Keep!
So, I have received some comments and/or questions for tomorrow. It's not too late to write it! If you haven't done so already, write what's on your mind to HCP2007@gmail.com or just comment by clicking the "Comments" link on the lower right. (My bad: I kept telling you to click an envelope icon before). C'mon. You're not too lazy to express yourself, are ya? Ha!
Do you know what really chaps my cheeks? Lazy people. I'm not talking about when someone is lethargic or tired because of a lack of sleep, but that the person actually goes out of their way to avoid strenuous movements to save some energy ... to go out and be more lazy. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about efficiency, but there's just some things that I don't condone. This article is inspired by "Smooth Like KY" from last week's Grab Bag Friday. They are as follows:
#1) People Who Drive Around The Parking Lot, Searching And Searching For A Spot Near The Entrance ... I mean, all that driving -- wasting time, gas, your life! -- just to find a spot that's like, 20 feet closer? Can you really not walk that much more? All that time you spent, driving around for "the perfect spot" you could have walked into your destination ... about three times over. This is especially a no-no for gym goers. If you're needing to park close enough so you don't have to walk too far as you're going to the gym ... well, there are places reserved for you somewhere in Dante's Circles of Hell.
#2) People Who Go Out Of Their Way To Use The "Automated Door" As Opposed To The "I Have To Open It By Pushing On It Door" ... Is it so freakin' impossible to open a door yourself? Technology is great, but some people are abusing it like they were a Catholic priest (too soon? It was too soon, wasn't it?). I've actually seen someone go up to a door, discovered that it was not opening for his majestic self, and then walked further down the store front to walk through the automated door. I wanted to shoot him with a beebee gun in the back of his knees.
#3) Leaving The TV On A Certain Channel Because You Can't Find The Remote ... Is it really worth watching "Walker Texas Ranger" for 3 hours because you can't walk 3 feet to the TV to change the channel? I'm sure your ancestors would be proud that they risked their lives fleeing to American on the Mayflower just so you could avoid the hardships of the trek to your plasma flat screen TV. Bravo!
#4) Pushing Around A Shopping Cart For 3 Or Less Items ... I've seen someone at the checkout line in a grocery store that only had a loaf of bread, a can of vegetables, and something like a a Kool-Aid packet in his cart. I'll repeat that: CART! There were no kids present. He didn't walk with a cane. Unbelievable! At least grab the little hand basket ... for goodness sakes, a cart?! Oh, you forgot to buy the 8 pack of tortillas ... better ask for assistance to your car!
#5) Wearing A Digital Watch Because Tyring To Figure Out Those Sneaky Hand Watches Requires Effort ... If you refuse to wear a watch with hands because it's too hard to read ... then I feel I need to smash your Adam's apple with a rubber mallet. Numbers can be scary too, ya know. Like, 1-8-7 ....
#6) People Who Scribble Their "Signature" Because It Takes Too Long To Actually Write The Letters In Their Name ... I have nothing wrong with cool, artistic signatures. I'm talking about the people who have a signature who looks like they put the pen in their left armpit and then endured a case of convulsions. Just write it right, alright?
#7) Using My Trash Can Because Yours Is Full Of The Trash That You Hadn't Left On The Curb For The City To Pick Up ... 'Nuff said.
#8) Having A Ton Of Energy And Hustle On Offense, But All Of A Sudden, All Your Strength Is Gone For Defense ... This is more for when I play basketball, but these are the ball hogs that think they're Kobe but they're really like a half-skilled Greg Foster. 'Sure, I'll shoot every time I touch the ball, but I can't run back on "D" and guard my player.' I hate having these guys on my team.
#9) People Who Don't Finish What They Set Out To ...
(2 Cent): Pet Peeve And A Half
So, the other day, I just saw someone drop a cigarette on the floor as they entered a store, and then as they walked out they picked it up and started smoking it again. Now, is this because they're conservative? Is this because they're addicted beyond repair? Do they love the taste of asphalt and nicotine combined? I'm just dumbfounded.
Also, one time I remember a smoker putting his cigarette in the tread of his tires, as a holder. Then, after he was done doing his business in the store, dude goes back to the tire, gets his beloved cancer stick, and puffs away like nothing abnormal just occurred. Wow. Can I have your autograph?
(1/2 Cent): Send Me Another Round, Bar Keep!
So, I have received some comments and/or questions for tomorrow. It's not too late to write it! If you haven't done so already, write what's on your mind to HCP2007@gmail.com or just comment by clicking the "Comments" link on the lower right. (My bad: I kept telling you to click an envelope icon before). C'mon. You're not too lazy to express yourself, are ya? Ha!
posted by HCP @ 11:20 AM
2 Comments:
At 7:26 PM,
Anonymous said…
my comment: where is this weeks grab bag friday?
At 6:53 PM,
Anonymous said…
Who's this anonymous guy and who does he think he's fooling? Anyway, I actually laughed out loud on that bb gun to the back of the knee's part. That's pure hilarity. But then I realized what a loser I am when I read the part about watches. I recently purchased one of those crazy things. My mind just doesn't work that way. It takes me like 20 minutes to read those things. Its not a huge problem, but when someone wants the time and I have to check my watch three times before I get it right, that's just plain embarrasing. Maybe some handy cap people like myself really should have digital watches. Its not laziness, we just plain need them.
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