Pet Peeve Thursdays: Why You Wanna?
(1 Cent): 3 Things That Happened This Week
Do you know what really chaps my cheeks? Well, I’ll let you know 3 things that happened just this week … not extensive enough for their own ‘Top 10’ column, but bad enough where I had to say something … just had to.
1): The Sheriff As A Pace Car … so, I was driving on the freeway when I noticed a conglomerate of slow cars up ahead. I’m thinking, “Hey, what gives? Usually cars are traveling at blistering speeds, especially this early in the morning.” Lo and behold, I see a sheriff Suburban up ahead and no one – I mean NO ONE – is even thinking about passing him (going at 64 mph in a 65). It was unbelievable. I guess my real beef is with the morons going 90 mph behind me, swerving this way and that to get around me, stare me down as they speed by, just to slam on their breaks and not pass the sheriff. Where you at now, Jeff Gordon? Don’t wanna speed anymore? Hmm?
2): Screaming 3-5 Year Olds … If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s the sound of unnecessary screaming from little kids. It’s not the babies … I know they’re babies. But the ones that should know better … the ones who are old enough to know better … the ones that yell just to be heard or that need endless amounts of attention (even if it’s in the form of a backhand) … those are the ones that need to be punted like Jack Black did to Baxter off a bridge. My “favorite” is when two of them want to have a little “scream-off” … where they can see who can yell the loudest. Parents: where is your parenting? Control your little scions of Satan.
3): Older Men Who Try Not To Make It Obvious That They’re Staring At A Younger Girl But It’s More Obvious Than The Fact They’re Wearing (A Fully Loaded) Depends … oh-ho-HO, this happens a lot. It’s somewhat comedic, but somewhat pathetic. I mean, if you’re going to ogle, just go all out and do it, heh? None of this “Oh, wow, she’s a looker … oh, wait, can’t look … too much … hmm … pretend that you’re staring at something else, ol’ chap … can’t … look ... away …” while your eyes flutter back and forth as if you’re watching a tennis match at Matrix speed. She could probably call you ‘grandpa’ for crying out loud! It’s just sick … probably because in 50 years I’ll have forgotten about this article and be doing the same thing.
(2 Cent): What’s Up With The Prices?
I’m in the process of getting ideas to decorate my place (don’t bother sending in all those fem jokes … I won’t read them!) and I was in this store – which I won’t say the name, but it rhymes with “ear pun kimtorts” – and they had some ‘pieces of work’ that cost an asinine amount of money. For example, there was this big (about 1 ½ foot) sculpture of this ninja warrior with a sword – although you really had to use your imagination for it … it was almost like an inkblot test come to life – that was priced at $70.00. It was made of hollow plastic. Are they serious? Do they hug and kiss you before or after they give it to you? Man alive! I don’t have a problem with spending money on something if it’s worth it, but don’t try to sell me an oversized cereal box toy for a tank and a half of gas.
(1/2 Cent): Last Chance!
I’m still deciding whether or not I will have the questions/comments for tomorrow, or just wait until the end of the month and group them all together. I suppose it will depend on the number I get. Also, it will depend on the topics I can come up with for the ‘Grab Bag.’ As always, I know the suspense is riveting.
HCP
Do you know what really chaps my cheeks? Well, I’ll let you know 3 things that happened just this week … not extensive enough for their own ‘Top 10’ column, but bad enough where I had to say something … just had to.
1): The Sheriff As A Pace Car … so, I was driving on the freeway when I noticed a conglomerate of slow cars up ahead. I’m thinking, “Hey, what gives? Usually cars are traveling at blistering speeds, especially this early in the morning.” Lo and behold, I see a sheriff Suburban up ahead and no one – I mean NO ONE – is even thinking about passing him (going at 64 mph in a 65). It was unbelievable. I guess my real beef is with the morons going 90 mph behind me, swerving this way and that to get around me, stare me down as they speed by, just to slam on their breaks and not pass the sheriff. Where you at now, Jeff Gordon? Don’t wanna speed anymore? Hmm?
2): Screaming 3-5 Year Olds … If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s the sound of unnecessary screaming from little kids. It’s not the babies … I know they’re babies. But the ones that should know better … the ones who are old enough to know better … the ones that yell just to be heard or that need endless amounts of attention (even if it’s in the form of a backhand) … those are the ones that need to be punted like Jack Black did to Baxter off a bridge. My “favorite” is when two of them want to have a little “scream-off” … where they can see who can yell the loudest. Parents: where is your parenting? Control your little scions of Satan.
3): Older Men Who Try Not To Make It Obvious That They’re Staring At A Younger Girl But It’s More Obvious Than The Fact They’re Wearing (A Fully Loaded) Depends … oh-ho-HO, this happens a lot. It’s somewhat comedic, but somewhat pathetic. I mean, if you’re going to ogle, just go all out and do it, heh? None of this “Oh, wow, she’s a looker … oh, wait, can’t look … too much … hmm … pretend that you’re staring at something else, ol’ chap … can’t … look ... away …” while your eyes flutter back and forth as if you’re watching a tennis match at Matrix speed. She could probably call you ‘grandpa’ for crying out loud! It’s just sick … probably because in 50 years I’ll have forgotten about this article and be doing the same thing.
(2 Cent): What’s Up With The Prices?
I’m in the process of getting ideas to decorate my place (don’t bother sending in all those fem jokes … I won’t read them!) and I was in this store – which I won’t say the name, but it rhymes with “ear pun kimtorts” – and they had some ‘pieces of work’ that cost an asinine amount of money. For example, there was this big (about 1 ½ foot) sculpture of this ninja warrior with a sword – although you really had to use your imagination for it … it was almost like an inkblot test come to life – that was priced at $70.00. It was made of hollow plastic. Are they serious? Do they hug and kiss you before or after they give it to you? Man alive! I don’t have a problem with spending money on something if it’s worth it, but don’t try to sell me an oversized cereal box toy for a tank and a half of gas.
(1/2 Cent): Last Chance!
I’m still deciding whether or not I will have the questions/comments for tomorrow, or just wait until the end of the month and group them all together. I suppose it will depend on the number I get. Also, it will depend on the topics I can come up with for the ‘Grab Bag.’ As always, I know the suspense is riveting.
HCP
posted by HCP @ 8:16 AM
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