Grab Bag Fridays: You Can Bet That
(1 Cent): Why Not, I'll Use It
I received this "forward" in my e-mail account ... usually I don't read them, just because they're usually corny. But this one was a joke, so I decided to read it. It was one I never read before and it actually ended up being funny (at least to me and the person who forwarded it to me). Without further ado, here it is:
"Choosing A Wife: A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them."
-----------------
So, I don't know if that last paragraph is true ... but it's stuff funny to read.
(2 Cent): Thanks For Nuthin'
You know what really chaps my cheeks? Customer service people on the phones. Lately, I've had problems with the people from Comcast and now with Dish Network. They're just fools!
Basically, 3 different Comcasters told me 3 different things concerning a bill (i.e., they should rebate me about $57 but they say I owe $44 ... I am in the right). I just keep getting the run-around: "Call back here," "Call back there," "Don't worry about it," "Fax us this," ... kiss mine!
Now with Dish, I get this lady who doesn't know what the crap she's doing -- it must have been her first hour on the job. She kept inputting info on the computer incorrectly ... plus NEVER answered my question straight up. To top it off, towards the end of the conversation, she kept asking me if there was anything else she could do for me ... uh, other than not helping me some more, no.
Then, the same day, I call back and get Habeeb who can barely speak English. He didn't answer my question either. Basically, I'm going to do what I want and if they don't like it, then they can figure it out later. I'm trying to do things the right way, but these fools are not making it possible.
Okay ... reading back over the last couple of paragraphs, I realize I was pretty vague ... but details aren't important here. The thing to remember is that customer service should actually be called customer disservice. If you're not going to answer customer questions, what purpose do you actually serve? Wouldn't Comcast and other companies want to know that they're paying these fools $5.25 an hour for nothing?
(1/2 Cent): Valentine's Daze
The "holiday" known as Valentine's Day is a weird one. You can't really ask someone out that you just want to be casual with because you're almost obligated to get flowers, candy, some type of doo-hickey (i.e., stuffed bear) and then take them to a nice restaurant ... and who wants to do all that with someone you're not that comfortable with? Plus, what girl wouldn't be scared away if all of this happened by some dude she just met at Red Lobster?
Of course, if you are in a seriously relationship and you don't so something, then you'll most likely hear about it (unless you have a chick that likes to do the silent treatment or do passive-aggressive stuff, like leaving a plastic Wal-Mart bag out with your Sports Illustrated mag and some lotion in it). You have to do something creative, heartfelt, fun, original, blah, blah, blah.
So, this day is generally thought of as a ladies holiday, right?
-----------------
Note: anyone who's willing to argue this point can read this:
"The Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines."
Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine
------------------
Well, what's the guys' equivalent of this day, hmm? I don't think there is one. I'm going to make one up right now. It's called Dude's Day. Think Valentine's Day but total opposite. I have spoken.
------------------
------------------
Welp, thus ends another craptacular week. Enjoy your weekend ... I'll try not to suck it up at my bball game tomorrow (P.S. we won our last game). Take care!
HCP
I received this "forward" in my e-mail account ... usually I don't read them, just because they're usually corny. But this one was a joke, so I decided to read it. It was one I never read before and it actually ended up being funny (at least to me and the person who forwarded it to me). Without further ado, here it is:
"Choosing A Wife: A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them."
-----------------
So, I don't know if that last paragraph is true ... but it's stuff funny to read.
(2 Cent): Thanks For Nuthin'
You know what really chaps my cheeks? Customer service people on the phones. Lately, I've had problems with the people from Comcast and now with Dish Network. They're just fools!
Basically, 3 different Comcasters told me 3 different things concerning a bill (i.e., they should rebate me about $57 but they say I owe $44 ... I am in the right). I just keep getting the run-around: "Call back here," "Call back there," "Don't worry about it," "Fax us this," ... kiss mine!
Now with Dish, I get this lady who doesn't know what the crap she's doing -- it must have been her first hour on the job. She kept inputting info on the computer incorrectly ... plus NEVER answered my question straight up. To top it off, towards the end of the conversation, she kept asking me if there was anything else she could do for me ... uh, other than not helping me some more, no.
Then, the same day, I call back and get Habeeb who can barely speak English. He didn't answer my question either. Basically, I'm going to do what I want and if they don't like it, then they can figure it out later. I'm trying to do things the right way, but these fools are not making it possible.
Okay ... reading back over the last couple of paragraphs, I realize I was pretty vague ... but details aren't important here. The thing to remember is that customer service should actually be called customer disservice. If you're not going to answer customer questions, what purpose do you actually serve? Wouldn't Comcast and other companies want to know that they're paying these fools $5.25 an hour for nothing?
(1/2 Cent): Valentine's Daze
The "holiday" known as Valentine's Day is a weird one. You can't really ask someone out that you just want to be casual with because you're almost obligated to get flowers, candy, some type of doo-hickey (i.e., stuffed bear) and then take them to a nice restaurant ... and who wants to do all that with someone you're not that comfortable with? Plus, what girl wouldn't be scared away if all of this happened by some dude she just met at Red Lobster?
Of course, if you are in a seriously relationship and you don't so something, then you'll most likely hear about it (unless you have a chick that likes to do the silent treatment or do passive-aggressive stuff, like leaving a plastic Wal-Mart bag out with your Sports Illustrated mag and some lotion in it). You have to do something creative, heartfelt, fun, original, blah, blah, blah.
So, this day is generally thought of as a ladies holiday, right?
-----------------
Note: anyone who's willing to argue this point can read this:
"The Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines."
Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine
------------------
Well, what's the guys' equivalent of this day, hmm? I don't think there is one. I'm going to make one up right now. It's called Dude's Day. Think Valentine's Day but total opposite. I have spoken.
------------------
------------------
Welp, thus ends another craptacular week. Enjoy your weekend ... I'll try not to suck it up at my bball game tomorrow (P.S. we won our last game). Take care!
HCP
posted by HCP @ 11:21 AM
1 Comments:
At 3:33 PM,
Jeff said…
A few years back there was an email going around that said since Valentine's Day was for the ladies, there should be a "Steak & BJ Day" for the guys. Worked for me. :-)
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