Grag Bag Fridays: Time's A Changin'
(1 Cent): I Will Not Go Quietly Into The Night ...
You have heard it before; it often haunts your sleep: the HCP is shortening his blog entries.
I have been hired as a part-time editor/writer (official title is Project Manager ... sounds important, eh?) and will have less time to keep up the tri-weekly entries. My goal is for at least 2 days a week ... but no promises.
The idea is to have one every Monday and Friday ... combining the Pet Peeve Thursday into the Grab Bag Friday (in which Friday's day will retain its name). Mondays will remain the same.
The reason for this is because I usually write these entries during some spare time ... this spare time will be gone now (don't get me wrong ... I'm totally stoked about this new job). Everyone has a price ... and yes, mine is cheap.
If, for unforeseen reasons, I won't be able to do the articles on a Monday or Friday ... I will give a quick note saying why (and will try to make it as least lame as possible). Ha ... like it would be earth-shattering to anyone if I didn't write something ... ahh, my inflated ego.
As for this job, I hope I do well at it and gain a ton of experience from it ... I'm really excited about things, to be honest. How did I get the opportunity for this job without any previous work-related experience? Well, as they say, it's all about who you know.
I was talking to an acquaintance of mine at the gym last Saturday (the 20th) and it started out as small chit-chat ... then he asked what I was up to now-a-days (or something) and I explained how it was hard to get into the writing business -- or anything English degree related. He said that he had a roommate that worked for a magazine company and that he might be shorthanded. So, he gave me this guy's number, I called him up, we set up an interview time, I did the interview, he said he would call that night or the next day, that night he called me and told me they were interested in having me come aboard. To quote that lawyer's catchphrase, "It's just that easy." It was amazing. I'm really thankful for this opportunity to prove what I can do.
I am still keeping my managerial position for the loan company ... but will be working part-time hours there. Combined with the part-time hours for the magazine, I will be doing a little more than full-time hours each week. This is a good thing, too, because Uncle Sam says I didn't pony-up enough dough last year and says I owe him (stupid S/3 status ... I changed to S/1 starting in '07).
All in all, things are looking bright for HCP's immediate future ... but not so much for his immediate past .....
(2 Cent): Ride It 'Til The Wheels Fall Off ... Or Blow Out!
So ... my tires were a little bald. I was planning to get new ones pretty soon, blah, blah, blah. Yesterday, during the 8am rush on the freeway, I was driving in the fast lane when I felt my steering go a little bit left ... like my tire was sinking into mud. "Hmm," I thought, "this can't be good."
Being prepared for something crazy to happen -- I was bracing the wheel firmly -- I hear bloodge and see dozens of pieces of rubber shooting up from where my driver's side tire used to be. It was as if someone took my tire, put it in an over-sized blender and then turned it up to high speed without the lid on. It was amaz-za-zing. I quickly checked all my mirrors to see if there were still no cars around me (as I had checked when I first felt something going wrong). Lucky for me and my future children, no one was around me and I was able to swerve pretty quickly to the shoulder.
Long story short, I called up a friend, he picked me up and I was able to get a spare (yes, my spare was no good and was left at a previous house) and drive it back to the shop, then had to purchase 4 new tires. I suppose it's a good thing ... being forced to buy something necessary ... but the timing of it wasn't cool. At least I'm alive, right? Right?
(1/2 Cent): It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
Random story time. For some reason, as I was waking up at the crack of a dead dog (aka. early, early morning ... 7am!) I had a flashback to a sleep-over party I had in 5th or 6th grade. I remember there was about 4 of us ... and someone decided that we should have a "Burn Contest."
(Note: A "Burn Contest" was our phrase for a put down contest ... think of the predecessor to the show Yo Mamma ... but anything can be used, i.e., mommas, appearance, smarts, etcetera).
Squaring off in the first round was Josh aka. "Yen" versus Donovan aka. "Dono." J.H. (my friend who is doing the Busdrivers fantasy basketball team with me ... yes, we go way back) and I were awaiting our turn ... but were then blown away with the single, most greatest burn to ever start off a burn contest:
Yen: Okay, you start.
Dono: No, you go 'head and start.
Yen: Okay (shrugging his shoulders) ... (long pause) ... you're sweat off a dog's balls.
HCP & J.H.: HAAAA HA HA!! ... (Uncontrollably laughing to tears)
Dono: That's not a burn! ... (HCP & J.H. still laughing, rolling on the ground) ... That's not a burn!
J.H.: It's over! It's over!
HCP & J.H.: (Still bring it up to this day ... yes, it was about 15 years ago).
I'm not sure why I thought of this ... but ahh, good times! Is it bad that that phrase still brings a smile to my face? Was it that funny? At the time it was. Was it really a burn? I would have to vote 'yes' without hesitation. Do I need help? I would have to nod in the affirmative.
I mean, how do you even begin to come back from that (when you're in 5th grade)? You're sweat off a dog's balls. It's hitting a grand slam in the first inning with no outs! What the heck was going through Yen's mind? What possessed him to say that? Did he see it off of a show? I'm pretty sure he was an only child, so no older siblings could've taught him that. However it came to fruition, it was priceless; it caused one of the best laughs in my history of laughing.
-----------
Future articles will come later in the day ... but should still come on Mondays and Fridays. Thanks for the read and have a great weekend. And now, the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker ....
HCP
You have heard it before; it often haunts your sleep: the HCP is shortening his blog entries.
I have been hired as a part-time editor/writer (official title is Project Manager ... sounds important, eh?) and will have less time to keep up the tri-weekly entries. My goal is for at least 2 days a week ... but no promises.
The idea is to have one every Monday and Friday ... combining the Pet Peeve Thursday into the Grab Bag Friday (in which Friday's day will retain its name). Mondays will remain the same.
The reason for this is because I usually write these entries during some spare time ... this spare time will be gone now (don't get me wrong ... I'm totally stoked about this new job). Everyone has a price ... and yes, mine is cheap.
If, for unforeseen reasons, I won't be able to do the articles on a Monday or Friday ... I will give a quick note saying why (and will try to make it as least lame as possible). Ha ... like it would be earth-shattering to anyone if I didn't write something ... ahh, my inflated ego.
As for this job, I hope I do well at it and gain a ton of experience from it ... I'm really excited about things, to be honest. How did I get the opportunity for this job without any previous work-related experience? Well, as they say, it's all about who you know.
I was talking to an acquaintance of mine at the gym last Saturday (the 20th) and it started out as small chit-chat ... then he asked what I was up to now-a-days (or something) and I explained how it was hard to get into the writing business -- or anything English degree related. He said that he had a roommate that worked for a magazine company and that he might be shorthanded. So, he gave me this guy's number, I called him up, we set up an interview time, I did the interview, he said he would call that night or the next day, that night he called me and told me they were interested in having me come aboard. To quote that lawyer's catchphrase, "It's just that easy." It was amazing. I'm really thankful for this opportunity to prove what I can do.
I am still keeping my managerial position for the loan company ... but will be working part-time hours there. Combined with the part-time hours for the magazine, I will be doing a little more than full-time hours each week. This is a good thing, too, because Uncle Sam says I didn't pony-up enough dough last year and says I owe him (stupid S/3 status ... I changed to S/1 starting in '07).
All in all, things are looking bright for HCP's immediate future ... but not so much for his immediate past .....
(2 Cent): Ride It 'Til The Wheels Fall Off ... Or Blow Out!
So ... my tires were a little bald. I was planning to get new ones pretty soon, blah, blah, blah. Yesterday, during the 8am rush on the freeway, I was driving in the fast lane when I felt my steering go a little bit left ... like my tire was sinking into mud. "Hmm," I thought, "this can't be good."
Being prepared for something crazy to happen -- I was bracing the wheel firmly -- I hear bloodge and see dozens of pieces of rubber shooting up from where my driver's side tire used to be. It was as if someone took my tire, put it in an over-sized blender and then turned it up to high speed without the lid on. It was amaz-za-zing. I quickly checked all my mirrors to see if there were still no cars around me (as I had checked when I first felt something going wrong). Lucky for me and my future children, no one was around me and I was able to swerve pretty quickly to the shoulder.
Long story short, I called up a friend, he picked me up and I was able to get a spare (yes, my spare was no good and was left at a previous house) and drive it back to the shop, then had to purchase 4 new tires. I suppose it's a good thing ... being forced to buy something necessary ... but the timing of it wasn't cool. At least I'm alive, right? Right?
(1/2 Cent): It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
Random story time. For some reason, as I was waking up at the crack of a dead dog (aka. early, early morning ... 7am!) I had a flashback to a sleep-over party I had in 5th or 6th grade. I remember there was about 4 of us ... and someone decided that we should have a "Burn Contest."
(Note: A "Burn Contest" was our phrase for a put down contest ... think of the predecessor to the show Yo Mamma ... but anything can be used, i.e., mommas, appearance, smarts, etcetera).
Squaring off in the first round was Josh aka. "Yen" versus Donovan aka. "Dono." J.H. (my friend who is doing the Busdrivers fantasy basketball team with me ... yes, we go way back) and I were awaiting our turn ... but were then blown away with the single, most greatest burn to ever start off a burn contest:
Yen: Okay, you start.
Dono: No, you go 'head and start.
Yen: Okay (shrugging his shoulders) ... (long pause) ... you're sweat off a dog's balls.
HCP & J.H.: HAAAA HA HA!! ... (Uncontrollably laughing to tears)
Dono: That's not a burn! ... (HCP & J.H. still laughing, rolling on the ground) ... That's not a burn!
J.H.: It's over! It's over!
HCP & J.H.: (Still bring it up to this day ... yes, it was about 15 years ago).
I'm not sure why I thought of this ... but ahh, good times! Is it bad that that phrase still brings a smile to my face? Was it that funny? At the time it was. Was it really a burn? I would have to vote 'yes' without hesitation. Do I need help? I would have to nod in the affirmative.
I mean, how do you even begin to come back from that (when you're in 5th grade)? You're sweat off a dog's balls. It's hitting a grand slam in the first inning with no outs! What the heck was going through Yen's mind? What possessed him to say that? Did he see it off of a show? I'm pretty sure he was an only child, so no older siblings could've taught him that. However it came to fruition, it was priceless; it caused one of the best laughs in my history of laughing.
-----------
Future articles will come later in the day ... but should still come on Mondays and Fridays. Thanks for the read and have a great weekend. And now, the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker ....
HCP
posted by HCP @ 3:01 PM
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