Spmusic Mondays: Didn't See This Coming

Life has been a tad crazier than anticipated ... hoping to come back strong this Friday ... I wish all a good week ... is it 2008 yet?


HCP

Grag Bag Fridays: Time's A Changin'

(1 Cent): I Will Not Go Quietly Into The Night ...

You have heard it before; it often haunts your sleep: the HCP is shortening his blog entries.

I have been hired as a part-time editor/writer (official title is Project Manager ... sounds important, eh?) and will have less time to keep up the tri-weekly entries. My goal is for at least 2 days a week ... but no promises.

The idea is to have one every Monday and Friday ... combining the Pet Peeve Thursday into the Grab Bag Friday (in which Friday's day will retain its name). Mondays will remain the same.

The reason for this is because I usually write these entries during some spare time ... this spare time will be gone now (don't get me wrong ... I'm totally stoked about this new job). Everyone has a price ... and yes, mine is cheap.

If, for unforeseen reasons, I won't be able to do the articles on a Monday or Friday ... I will give a quick note saying why (and will try to make it as least lame as possible). Ha ... like it would be earth-shattering to anyone if I didn't write something ... ahh, my inflated ego.

As for this job, I hope I do well at it and gain a ton of experience from it ... I'm really excited about things, to be honest. How did I get the opportunity for this job without any previous work-related experience? Well, as they say, it's all about who you know.

I was talking to an acquaintance of mine at the gym last Saturday (the 20th) and it started out as small chit-chat ... then he asked what I was up to now-a-days (or something) and I explained how it was hard to get into the writing business -- or anything English degree related. He said that he had a roommate that worked for a magazine company and that he might be shorthanded. So, he gave me this guy's number, I called him up, we set up an interview time, I did the interview, he said he would call that night or the next day, that night he called me and told me they were interested in having me come aboard. To quote that lawyer's catchphrase, "It's just that easy." It was amazing. I'm really thankful for this opportunity to prove what I can do.

I am still keeping my managerial position for the loan company ... but will be working part-time hours there. Combined with the part-time hours for the magazine, I will be doing a little more than full-time hours each week. This is a good thing, too, because Uncle Sam says I didn't pony-up enough dough last year and says I owe him (stupid S/3 status ... I changed to S/1 starting in '07).

All in all, things are looking bright for HCP's immediate future ... but not so much for his immediate past .....

(2 Cent): Ride It 'Til The Wheels Fall Off ... Or Blow Out!

So ... my tires were a little bald. I was planning to get new ones pretty soon, blah, blah, blah. Yesterday, during the 8am rush on the freeway, I was driving in the fast lane when I felt my steering go a little bit left ... like my tire was sinking into mud. "Hmm," I thought, "this can't be good."

Being prepared for something crazy to happen -- I was bracing the wheel firmly -- I hear bloodge and see dozens of pieces of rubber shooting up from where my driver's side tire used to be. It was as if someone took my tire, put it in an over-sized blender and then turned it up to high speed without the lid on. It was amaz-za-zing. I quickly checked all my mirrors to see if there were still no cars around me (as I had checked when I first felt something going wrong). Lucky for me and my future children, no one was around me and I was able to swerve pretty quickly to the shoulder.

Long story short, I called up a friend, he picked me up and I was able to get a spare (yes, my spare was no good and was left at a previous house) and drive it back to the shop, then had to purchase 4 new tires. I suppose it's a good thing ... being forced to buy something necessary ... but the timing of it wasn't cool. At least I'm alive, right? Right?

(1/2 Cent): It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Random story time. For some reason, as I was waking up at the crack of a dead dog (aka. early, early morning ... 7am!) I had a flashback to a sleep-over party I had in 5th or 6th grade. I remember there was about 4 of us ... and someone decided that we should have a "Burn Contest."

(Note: A "Burn Contest" was our phrase for a put down contest ... think of the predecessor to the show Yo Mamma ... but anything can be used, i.e., mommas, appearance, smarts, etcetera).

Squaring off in the first round was Josh aka. "Yen" versus Donovan aka. "Dono." J.H. (my friend who is doing the Busdrivers fantasy basketball team with me ... yes, we go way back) and I were awaiting our turn ... but were then blown away with the single, most greatest burn to ever start off a burn contest:

Yen: Okay, you start.

Dono: No, you go 'head and start.

Yen: Okay (shrugging his shoulders) ... (long pause) ... you're sweat off a dog's balls.

HCP & J.H.: HAAAA HA HA!! ... (Uncontrollably laughing to tears)

Dono: That's not a burn! ... (HCP & J.H. still laughing, rolling on the ground) ... That's not a burn!

J.H.: It's over! It's over!

HCP & J.H.: (Still bring it up to this day ... yes, it was about 15 years ago).

I'm not sure why I thought of this ... but ahh, good times! Is it bad that that phrase still brings a smile to my face? Was it that funny? At the time it was. Was it really a burn? I would have to vote 'yes' without hesitation. Do I need help? I would have to nod in the affirmative.

I mean, how do you even begin to come back from that (when you're in 5th grade)? You're sweat off a dog's balls. It's hitting a grand slam in the first inning with no outs! What the heck was going through Yen's mind? What possessed him to say that? Did he see it off of a show? I'm pretty sure he was an only child, so no older siblings could've taught him that. However it came to fruition, it was priceless; it caused one of the best laughs in my history of laughing.

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Future articles will come later in the day ... but should still come on Mondays and Fridays. Thanks for the read and have a great weekend. And now, the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker ....

HCP

Pet Peeve Thursdays: It's ME!

(1 Cent): My Bad

You know what really chaps my cheeks? Unexpected occurrences. I am not going to be able to do a full article today because, a) my new job takes up some of my free time, and b) I just blew out a tire on the freeway today and spent the past 3 hours calling a friend to help, fix said tire, paying for 4 new tires, etc.

(2 Cent): Tomorrow's Only A Day Away

I will do a Grab Bag tomorrow ... but most likely later in the day (i.e., after 3pm). I will also have to consider whether or not 3 entries every week is more than possible right now.

(1/2 Cent): There's Still Time

You can still write a question or comment for tomorrow's Grab Bag. Click the comments link below or write to HCP2007@gmail.com. Sorry again for this lame (I'll admit it ... this is lame) Thursday. I bet you my day has been worse than yours ....


HCP

Spmusic Mondays: You Did What With Who?

(1 Cent): What's Most Valuable?

The ongoing debate about whether or not Steve Nash deserves a third straight league MVP award had me question what others have questioned before: exactly what does the word "valuable" denote?

I understand Nash is the point guard on the most efficient offensive team in the NBA; he leads the NBA in assists per game; he makes people on his team better ... yada, yada, yada. Nash is valuable -- but the most valuable player in the entire league?

If you had to choose one player right this second to start a team with would it be Steve Nash? Really? A thirty-three (as of next month) year old point guard over Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Dirk Nowitzki, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, or Carmello Anthony? Don't get me wrong -- I like Nash a lot. I just don't understand why people say he makes other players around him better when it's most likely the Phoenix Suns' system that makes everyone better. Consider this:

-- The Dallas Mavericks' last season with Nash at the point had a 52-30 regular season record while getting bounced in the first round of the playoffs; the next season without Nash they went 58-24 and made it to the second round of the playoffs. Does that mean Jason Terry, Dallas' point guard after Nash left and now, is better than Nash? The Mavericks had a better record and made it further in the playoffs with Terry ... (yes, that's sarcasm).

-- Last I looked, the Mavs had a very deep team in Nash's last year with them ('03-'04): Dirk Nowitzki, Michael Finley (the third of the 'Big 3'), Antawn Jamison, Antonie Walker, Josh Howard (though in his rookie season), Marquis Daniels (also a rook). This line-up has similar firepower -- if not more -- to what Nash has now in Amare Stoudemire, Shawn Marion, Leandro Barbosa, Boris Diaw ... uh ... Raja Bell? Why didn't Nash average 11.5 assists per game with all of these scorers?

-- The year before Nash, then Suns guard Joe Johnson had 16.7 ppg, 4.7 rpg, and 4.4 apg ... the year with Nash, Johnson had 17.1 ppg, 5.2 rpg, and 3.5 apg ... BUT, the next year ('05-'06) when Johnson went to Atlanta, he had 20.2 ppg, 4.1 rpg, and 6.5 apg ... so ... he didn't improve that much with Nash but had a big jump in ppg and apg without Nash ... hmmm ... I thought Nash made everybody better?

Okay, I'm done playing Devil's advocate; the main thing to look at is what system Nash is playing in. You can't convince me that if in '03-'04 the Mavs had current Phoenix head coach Mike D'Antoni, they would not have been better than they were. Can you imagine running and gunning with Nowitzki, the less old Finley, Jamison, the pre-suck Walker, with rookie legs of Howard and Daniels? Other than Stoudemire and Marion, isn't that a much better supporting cast than Raja Bell, Boris Diaw, Leandro Barbosa, Jumaine Jones, James Jones?

To me, it comes down to the team's system ... and D'Antoni has a great system that Nash is able to thrive in and allows others to thrive in. Does this make Nash valuable or D'Antoni valuable? Can Nash take over a game on both ends of the floor in crunch time? Can he guard the opposing team's best player (assuming it's not a PF or C)? Does his system make him an MVP?

I'm not saying that Nash is a bad choice, per se, but I do believe there are much better choices. If there was a way to define this word "valuable" it would also give more of a guideline for voters to make choices. Nash is good ... I just don't think he's three straight MVP good.

(2 Cent): Greatest Show Ever!

The program on VH1 entitled The (White) Rapper Show has to be the highest form of unintentional comedy ever produced. You have to see it for yourself.

I can't tell you how much I laughed straight through the whole show ... somewhere 2Pac and Biggie are rolling in their graves. It's like a segregated American Idol mixed with whack Hip Hop and no shame. It's great.

My absolute favorite character (yes, it's a reality show but he's a character in my book) has to be this dude named John Brown -- no, I didn't not make the name up. All he talks about is this "ghetto revival" and some type of "movement" and how he is the "King of the Burbs" ... it's almost sad to see that he's so real about it ... which makes it so hilarious.

I can't even begin to explain each of the "contestants" ... so I'm going to link you to a web site that allows you to view for yourself:

http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/white_rapper/114047/episode_characters.jhtml

If you need a quick pick-me-up after a long day (or week) of feeling lousy, just turn this show on and get that confidence boost you need!

(1/2 Cent): Where's My Dang Trophy?

They should just stop the (fantasy) season now. It's over. All over ... unless I keep taking on injuries.

The Busdrivers rolled to their 7th straight victory over the team that is 2nd in the league in scoring. The only negative news is that New Jersey Nets forward Richard Jefferson is going to be out for at least 6 weeks as he is to undergo surgery on his ankle (to remove some bones spurs or something crazy). He finished the week averaging 28.75 fantasy points (FP's) and will be missed.

Luckily, on the 1st of the year, I picked up forward David West who started playing again earlier than expected. I'm starting him for this upcoming period; he has shown he is back by averaging a whopping 38.5 FP's in his first week back. So, exit Jefferson and enter West. What a pick up.

In essence, the Busdrivers shouldn't miss a beat and might actually do better with West ... and when Jefferson comes back, we should be that much stronger. As for now, keep bringing on the chumps! Actually, I play my friend J.D.'s team for the second time this week ... let's hope he brings a little more fire than the 258.33 FP's he scored last week.

In my estimation, I would say out of the 10 games (weeks) left in the season, there are 2 teams that could give us a good game ... which means, like every other basketball season, this year will come down to injuries. The Busdrivers are #1 in record, in scoring, in power rankings, you name it. The only thing that will prevent us from winning the championship is if we take on too many star players being injured. I hate it. I live the fantasy sport Groundhog's Day.

Week 12: W - 354.67 - 320.08 ... W-L Record: 10-2 (First in division; first in league)

Week 12 Fantasy Stud: Dwayne Wade (G, MIA): 54.25 FP's

Week 12 Fantasy Dud: Kyle Korver (F, PHI): 22..5 FP's ... it's not too shabby, but he did score the least out of any starter ... and was promptly dropped (we run a tight ship)

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Something might come up in my life that could change how many entries I do for Two And A Half Cents ... I could be looking at a writing/editing position for a local magazine. Cross your fingers for me ... I need a break!

Thanks for the read ... make sure to write your comments and questions and craziness to HCP2007@gmail.com or click the Comments link below See ya Thursday!

HCP

Grab Bag Fridays: Super Fresco!

(1 Cent): Better Than Nothin'

We have one comment question this week ... like to hea' it? Hea' it go!

Q: "This is from Nony. A win is a win is a win, I agree. My question is, why not me? Why do I play teams that score low for three weeks in a row and then on my turn they have the games of their lives? I want to mention that I did give the team I was playing a sufficient pounding this week and that I would have beaten 7 of the teams in the league that I am playing in. But what is it about sucky or average teams or players doing amazing against me or my team. For instance my favorite NBA team often produces career games for the sixth man on the other team’s bench; sometimes the twelfth man even gets his piece of the say "pecan" pie. Why is this? My favorite team is really good but what is it about my team (not that I own them) that brings out the best in the worst of other teams?" -- Nony

HCP: Ha ... I like that you go by the nickname I gave you (Nony = Anonymous). Anyways, if I'm reading your question correctly, you're asking why do teams (in your fantasy league) have below average players playing way above their head when they play against your team. For instance, Desmond Mason averages about 14 fantasy points (FP's) a week but all of a sudden has some monster games in the week he plays you ... and you end up getting hosed (not in a good, Cinnemax way) because he averaged 35. Well, welcome to fantasy sports, my friend ... where 'up' is 'left' ... and 'down' is 'red.'

There's no rhyme or reason to much of it. I mean, look at my rant about fantasy sports in my earlier columns. In years past, I've lost playoff games because Tracy McGrady was listed as very probable but ends up missing the entire week ... giving me a fatty zero in his points column. I've been riddled with injures -- seemingly having every injured player in real life on my team. Hell, even this year I complained about and verbally crapped on Fred Jones who gave me 5 FP's for the week ... FOR THE WEEK ... and made me lose by about 2 FP's. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do but bend over and take it like a man (old Chinese proverb). I wish I could give you more advice. The only thing I can say is something I've uttered before: It's luck, skill, determination ... all packed into one.

It might not make sense to you now ... but when it does ... then you will have reached a greater plane of fantasy sports fortitude than you could ever imagine. (Can you say hyperbole?).

(2 Cent): What Do You Think?

This is a crazy article ... well, an article about a crazy situation. It's kind of long (about 4 web pages) but it is really interesting (article courtesy of MSN.com):

http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/CouplesandMarriage/ArticleRB.aspx?cp-documentid=2349798&GT1=8989

I don't know what I would do in that situation. I mean, wow. It's just unfathomable that things like this happen, ya know? How much effort did it take for Scott to forgive her? How do you get to the point where you can trust her again?

Many, many questions can be derived from this; I do have one main beef. The concern for me is Bonnie's frame of mind. Consider this statement: "I know now that I can't change Scott, but I can change how I react to him. If he tells me to stop using the credit card so much, I listen to what he is really saying — that he's concerned about our family's welfare — instead of thinking that he is trying to control me." Basically, Scott says to not use the credit card "so much" -- not "not at all", but so much. Why did Bonnie think Scott was trying to control her in the first place? It's not like he was forbidding the use of the credit card entirely ... why did Bonnie (and so many people like her) think they're being controlled when asked to do something?

Along those lines, Bonnie says, "Scott hugs and kisses me a lot, and if he doesn't, I'm not afraid to ask him to! I used to expect him just to know what I needed." What the heck? First and foremost, why would you "expect him just to know" what you needed? Did Bonnie leave out the part where Scott was an amateur mind reader on the side of his carpentry business? You can't expect people to know things if you don't tell them. That's ludicrous. Second, why was Bonnie afraid to ask Scott for affection in the first place? One shouldn't be afraid to ask for a kiss or a hug; explain to Scott (or whoever) that you need that and I'm sure it would be granted. Believe me, if Scott knew that a simple kiss or a quick hug every now and then would've prevented his wife and the mother of his children to be ravished by some "older, dumpy-looking guy," I'm sure he would've been all over it.

All I'm saying is that life is complicated ... try not to add to its difficulties. People, we have mouths ... speak up. Most people aren't mind readers. As for Bonnie and people like Bonnie, don't feel like you're being controlled when asked to curb something ... especially if there is a logical reason behind it.

I don't know ... I guess I'm not qualified to give advice ... and the 4 web page article is a summary of many, many months which most likely leave out a lot of details ... but hey, it's my two and a half cents so I can do as I please! I can even bust out in Spanish right now and you can't do anything about it! Que ganga!

(1/2 Cent): Any Ideas?

Let's enhance Grab Bag Fridays. Give me some ideas on what you want to read. Anything in your life you want HCP's advice on? Need a winning Lotto number? Don't know how to get rid of your neighbor's cat without punting it over a bridge? Wanna impress that young, lil' hottie at work with some new dance moves like the "Rock Away" or the "Kansas Killer Kick" aka the "KKK?" Ask away and I'll be happy to chime in.

Have a fun, safe weekend out there ... feel free to write comments or questions by clicking on the Comments link below or write to HCP2007@gmail.com. I'm outtie 5000!

HCP
Two And A Half Cents

Pet Peeve Thursdays: Excuse Me, Sir

(1 Cent): One Man Show

You know what really chaps my cheeks? Walking into a restroom (restaurant, gas station, wherever) when it is only for one person but made to seem like many can occupy. For example, the other day I walked into a Chevron restroom -- located inside their surprisingly clean mini mart. The door had the vertical bar handle and no lock. This, to me, usually signals bigger restroom. Wrong-o-la! I start to walk in and there's this old school, cowboy looking dude (who was noticeably startled) telling me he's sorry and squeezing past me, shooting out the door like a baby bull being branded on the butt. There's only one toilet, one sink, one air operated hand dryer. So, why isn't there a lock on that door? Am I supposed to wait inside with the person until their "done?" There is not room enough for two people ... put a lock on it!

I really feel there should be some sort of inspector inspecting this type of thing. Honestly. This has to violate some type of code or something.

Then, while it's my turn to do my business I'm pleading to any pagan god that will hear me to not let someone barge in to have that awkward, "Hey ... uh ... I'll just ... yeah ... sorry" conversation.

Just to recap: doors with locks for a one person restroom ... doors with no locks for a multi-person restroom. It's simple science, really. Maybe even some common sense thrown in. I can't be the only one who thinks like this ... can I?

(2 Cent): One Mo' Thing

While on the subject of restrooms and their non-sanitary ways, how about we have the pull handles for when you enter the restroom and the push plate for when you are leaving the restroom. I know there are some people who do not wash their hands after doing what they gots to do (see above: old school, cowboy looking dude) ... I do not want to have to pull open the door in order to leave the filth infested facility. Only Satan knows what's on that handle ... and I'd prefer to keep it that way.

Maybe I'm a germ-o-phobe ... but maybe I'm just going by some of the restrooms that do have their doors set up that way. You might ask, "Hey, HCP. Why don't you just use a paper towel to open the door then?" Good call, you. But, in this latest instance, there was only an air powered dryer which negated that move. So, the only other tactic was to go grab some butt paper (toilet paper to you laymans) and use it to open the door. Okay, I'm weird ... not just because I do this but because I'm writing about doing this. I think I'll stop now.

(1/2 Cent): Auto Mechanics

Once upon a time, in a land not too distant yet not too close, there lived an auto mechanic named Kalani. He sounds exotic but looked very much like what most people would call "White Trash." He worked at an auto repair shop that specialized in stupidity. HCP needed to replace his O2 sensor in his really old school Cutlass Supreme (c'mon, this was like 7 years ago). He took said car and a newly purchased sensor to Kalani and asked if he would be kind enough to install the part. Kalani said, "No problem." As HCP and his friend JD waited in Kalani's sweet waiting room, consisting of an array of VHS tapes and a 13" screen to watch them on, K-Dogg came back. HCP thought to himself, "Wow, that was quick. Only about 20 minutes." That's where the happiness ends. Kalani asks HCP -- with a straight face and in total seriousness -- if he knew where the O2 sensor went in his car.

Now, many thoughts went through the mind of the HCP. "Is he kidding?" "I brought the car to you because I don't know where it goes, fool!" "Aren't you a mechanic?" "Do I punch you now or later? In the face or in the throat?" "Twenty minutes and nothing is done? I'm surprised you found out how to pop open the hood!"

HCP's response was, "Uh, no ..." to which the masterfully skilled Kalani replies, "Okay, then I'm going to have to charge you a finder's fee." A finder's fee indeed. How about finding where the toilet is in the bathroom, Special K, because it looks like there could be some urine residue on your pants.

So, two hours and $80 later, the sensor was in (hopefully); HCP has a story; everyone lived miserably ever after.

The reason this story is told is to set you up for another mechanic's faux pas dealt by the HCP. Just recently, he needed to get his alignment done (in his Explorer). The mechanic found another problem (really!?) -- the tie rod was bent on the driver's side. So, of course he had to replace this before he could align the automobile correctly. HCP said okay, just do it.

Two hours later, HCP drove off the lot after paying about $160 in parts and labor (how do these fools sleep at night?). The car still pulled right. A couple of days later, HCP took the car in again and asked if they could look at it; the car still wasn't aligned correctly. Another guy looked underneath the car and said that someone replaced the passenger side tie rod; the driver's side was still bent. Perfect. How could one not notice this? HCP felt like he was taking crazy pills!

Short story long, HCP received the other tie rod and installation for free ... and his two major experiences with auto repair shops have been more bitter than tongue kissing Tara Reid after 12 shots and throwing up.

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Have any pet peeves? Have any questions or comments? Like to click on things? Then run that little cursor over the Comments link below and type away! You may also write to HCP2007@gmail.com ... as long as you are not from an Israeli political/war party or are some rich dude from Africa trying to smuggle in millions of dollars through my bank account while asking for my trust. I don't to politics and I only work with straight up cash money.


HCP

Spmusic Monday: MLK Day!

(1 Cent): Erasing The Christmas Day Massacre

December 25, 2006 ... not a good day for the Lakers and their fans. Being blown out while watching Wade doing his best Kobe impression, the Lake Show was left for dead in South Beach, losing 101-85 ... and it wasn't even that close.

It is now 2007. A new year ... a new beginning. Hopefully, a new outcome. The Miami Heat are still without Shaq, but the Lakers are still without Lamar Odom and Kwame Brown. I'm anticipating a game featuring more guard play, with Kobe and Smush needing to take a prominent roll (like their last game, a win against Orlando) and Wade and Williams needing to step up and carry the offense.

The x-factor for the Lakers will be Luke Walton ... he's the one needing to step his game up and be that second scoring option with Odom out. If he does, the Lakers are a much better team. Walton is an improved shooter with his always steady passing game. His most important aspect is staying aggressive within the offense and to look for his shot. He needs to keep the Miami defense honest so they can't send 4 defenders at Kobe.

The Lakers have been very good at home, where this Martin Luther King Jr. Day game takes place. They'll need to feed off the crowd's energy and start off strong which would force the Heat to play catch up. The biggest key is to fight through those stupid screens they run every time for Wade. Every time, we need a quick big man -- which is why it's really bad Kwame and Odom are out -- to help on the switch. Wade destroyed the Lakers defense last game with the same play every time. This needs to change if LA wants to win.

(2 Cent): Better Late Than Never

Going back to 2006 for music again, we'll look at R&B singer Akon's sophomore album entitled Konvicted. I didn't really know what to expect -- I only bought a couple of his songs from his first CD from iTunes ... but the radio singles from this album ("Smack That" featuring Eminem and "I Wanna Love You" featuring Snoop Dogg) were awesome, so I thought I'd give it a try. Plus, I'm a fan of Akon's voice -- kind of that Islands feel to it.

This album is decent, but nothing to blow you away. Aside from the already released singles (and the most recent radio track "Shake Down"), there are only a couple of other tracks that I liked. I give props to Akon because he produced all the songs except "Smack That" (produced by Em) ... but it might have been a good idea to mix up the sounds a bit.

With that said, it's still an above average album and I'll give it a 6.5 out of 10. Since the radio hits have been heard, I won't include them in my favorite list and will cut it to three this week.

**My Fav Three**

1) Track 8, "I Can't Wait": This is a great jam with a pop/jazz feel to it (think of R&B singer Joe) ... I'm also a big fan of the synthesized voice for drawn out vocals (see: T-Pain) ... you can totally bop your head to this beat.

2) Track 9, "Gangsta Bop": This beat reminds me of a 213 production ... I can't really imagine Akon being a gangster, but this song works.

3) Track 6, "Never Took The Time": A crooning, heartbreak ballad that is a little different than the usual Akon stuff ... I like the direction he was going with this idea.

(1/2 Cent): I Won't Stop, 'Cause I Can't Stop

As those of you who read last Friday's Grab Bag know, my Busdrivers fantasy team won yet again ... but through no genius of my own. The opponent last week set an illegal line-up (you need to start at least 4 forwards and guards with 1 center, with the 10th spot any position); he started only 3 forwards with 5 guards and 2 centers which resulted in his team forfeiting all points and me getting an automatic win.

Good thing, too, because he was only 1 game behind me for a playoff spot ... and now he's two. What I don't get about that situation is, 1) he has a pretty good if not borderline great team, B) he's been doing fantasy sports for over 4 years -- as is indicated by the red check mark near his name, and third, there is a huge (HUGE) yellow warning bar across your screen if you have an illegal line-up ... so that you can fix your line-up if it is missing the necessary positions. I don't know what his excuse can be. Perhaps he had pissed someone off and they got a hold of his account and messed it up. Although very far fetched, that's the only explanation I can see. Either that or he let his cat named Sphincter mash the keyboard with its paws and play with the mouse.

Methinks the Busdrivers would have won anyway since we had the highest point total in the league again that week. I was surprised, too, since we had half of our guys score well below average, not to mention their personal average.

This week we're playing the team we're tied for first place with in our division and league ... let the battle for supremacy begin (wow, I need a life).

Week 11: W - 316.91 - 0.00 ... W-L Record: 9-2 (Tied for first in division; tied for first in league)

Week 11 Fantasy Stud: Jason Kidd (NJ, G): 53 FP's

Week 11 Fantasy Dud: Damon Stoudamire (MEM, G): 13 FP's ... was a stop-gag player who gagged and stopped producing points ... is now cut from Busdrivers team.

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Enjoy the rest of MLK Day, everyone ... and make sure to check out the Lakers/Heat game tonight at 10pm Pacific time on TNT! (I'm not plugging that channel ... I just love the NBA! It's FAAAAAAANNNNtastic!).


HCP

Grab Bag Friday (and Pet Peeve Thursday): Double Your Pleasure

(1 Cent): Cutters!

You know what really chaps my cheeks? No, not people who cut themselves ... people who cut in front of you in line!

Wasn't this phase of your life supposed to be over in about 6th grade? "Adults" have been guilty of this transgression against me at least a half dozen times. The most recent came at the post office ... where I took the labeled route for the front of the line (some signs that have arrows that says the line starts here) ... then these two dudes go straight to a P.O. worker with a boxes full of letters. I was about to get all gangsta on them (i.e., give them a paper-cut in their eye with a manila folder) but then the very nice P.O. worker said that she thought I was first ... in other words, I was in line, foolios!

This sort of thing happens a lot, though. Usually, when people are in a hurry, they think they're top priority and that no one else's schedule is important ... or they're just complete a-holes and don't care. As George Costanza once said, we're living in a society!

Methinks these people are the same jerks that cut you off while driving, too.

(2 Cent): Brain-Fart Times Three

Thanks to those who wrote in. If this is the first time reading, this section compiles comments or questions from actual readers with my response. Let's get to it:

Q: "Here's something that really ticks me off; I can't believe this guy is for real. I hope no one is dumb enough to fall for this: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250067095413 I want to ask the seller if he would consider a trade: the googleyoutube.com domain name for some nice Monopoly real-estate on the soon to be Nevada/Pacific coastline that I just drew up with my cool new Crayola Crayon set. That's a fair trade right?" -- Crash N. Burnett

HCP: Wow ... I don't know if that Ebay link still works, so I'll explain it. Some dude wants to sell the URL of: googleyoutube.com for a cool $1 million. I mean, wow. The best part (for me) was that there actually was a bid! I wanted to see from who and how much, but I had to log-in for it ... and then I did and it still didn't let me see it.

Yeah, perhaps I should create and sell a domain name ... how about "eatme.com" for some up and coming fast food restaurant?

Q: "I have a question about fantasy basketball for you. My team’s name is… well I’ll change it so no one knows… let’s say it is Scorts Poctors. Now in my league I am 7-3 and in second place in my division. The leader in my division is Pipans of Scoop, If say for some reason I set up an illegal roster with 5 guards, 3 forwards, and 2 centers. What would you call me? And would the team I am playing say RusRiders VI take advantage of me and score out the house with their highest score yet? Note: Team names have been changed." -- Anonymous

HCP: Ha ... this is a great question. Partly because I know who wrote it but mostly because this is about my fantasy basketball league. Well, Anonymous (can I call you Nony?) ... if you did what you described, I would call you either, a) a fool, 2) a moron, or third) a gift from heaven. Hey, Nony, a win's a win. I'll take it (and take it I did!). Note: he would've lost anyways.

Q: "Yeah that money transfer is a well documented e-mail scam. There have been literally millions of dollars lost on that one. What happens is that someone needs to transfer money (usually from some sort of oil company) into the U.S. but doesn't have a U.S. account so they need someone else's account to "help them out". What happens is that there actually ARE people stupid enough to give the person their account info and somehow the account suddenly gets sucked dry and the contact phone number is suddenly disconnected. I wonder how that happened?" -- Crash N. Burnett

HCP: Note: this comment is about last week's Grab Bag .... For the past two weeks I've had a couple more e-mails that are very similar to this scam. So, what the heck? First I get e-mails from Israel and now I'm getting money laundering e-mails? What the pooh did I sign up for? Who the frick is reading these columns? Show yourselves!

(1/2 Cent): I'll Do It Later

Is procrastination a product of laziness? I've thought about this a couple of times, especially while in school ... I can't come to a solid conclusion.

Do we procrastinate because we don't want to do something? Do we put things off until the last minute because that's when we "do our best work?" Is it a habit? Is this a case by case thing?

I'd like to think that I procrastinate because I have a history of getting things done at the last minute ... and reasonably well, at that. I suppose deep down, I think to myself, "Why spread this task out for a couple of weeks, work on it little by little, when I can do it all in a couple of days?" Then that brings up the question: is that classified as procrastination or planning? I mean, I'm planning on getting it done at the last minute, so is that really putting something off?

I will list a couple of definitions of "procrastination" that can be found off of Dictionary.com:

–verb (used without object)
1. to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

–verb (used with object)
2. to put off till another day or time; defer; delay.

v. intr.
To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

v. tr.
To postpone or delay needlessly.

In trying to incorporate all of the definitions ... for #1, I do defer an action, but not to the point of a lost opportunity. #2 seems most likely, in that I do put something off to another time. #3 is intriguing, in that I do put things off habitually, but I wouldn't classify it as carelessness because I plan for it ... and I'm still debating whether or not it is laziness. #4 doesn't really work for me because it is not needlessly, as I explained earlier (why spread out a task when you can do it all at once).

I suppose, for me, I require the "pressure" of needing to get something done (a deadline). For research papers, I like to just sit down all at once and just write, write, write. If the paper is not due for another month or two, my thinking is, "Why do it now? I can't turn it in right now ... I could be doing something else more pertinent or immediately due." I don't know if there is a correlation to my love of playing sports, in that I love to be in the situation of a game winning three pointer or down by 3 runs with bases loaded in the 9th. I love the adrenaline; I love all eyes on me; I love being in a position where something needs to happen now.

So, to make myself feel better, I will say that a procrastinator is not someone who is lazy ... just someone who plans to do something at the last minute. Feel free to write in if you differ ... you can do it now, or later.

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Thanks for the reading and comments to all those who do. Feel free to click the Comments link below and share your two and a half cents with me and our readers. Have a great Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday weekend. Be safe ... be sound ... be sassy!


HCP

Two For One Tomorrow ...

Moving is taking up a lot of time ... I will post a Pet Peeve column AND Grab Bag tomorrow, Friday the 12th.

Thanks for all the comments ... my readers are money!


HCP

Spmusic Mondays: Whatchu Know About That ...

(1 Cent): Dallas And Miami Worse Off Than Los Angeles In The End

I don't want to talk about the Lakers victory that snapped the Mavs' 13 game winning streak yesterday ... I want to talk about how Mark Cuban's choice to not re-sign Steve Nash a couple summers ago was a worse faux pas than Mitch Kupchak's trading away of Shaquille O'Neal to Pat Riley's Heat.

Basically, Cuban let Nash walk away for free ... and then got to watch him win two MVP awards in a different uniform. Why doesn't Cuban get dissed more in the media for this? At least Kupchak received players back for his move, right? It's not like the Lakers just let Shaq walk away for free. For being such a savvy businessman, Cuban goofed up that one. It's not like Dallas seems like they're suffering as they're one of the better teams in the league, but in my opinion, Nash wouldn't have let the Mavs blow a 2-0 lead in the Finals -- no way.

One can say that hindsight is 20-20, but c'mon. At least do a sign and trade for Nash ... do something. Have a team trade some practice jerseys or 60 pounds of meat like European soccer teams do ... do something!

I understand that the ultimate goal of every franchise (except for Atlanta) is to win a championship. The Miami Heat accomplished this feat in their 2nd year with Shaq, but at what cost?

The Heat had to extend Shaq's contract for an extra 4 years at $20 million a pop ... that's pretty expensive, considering that 2006 will be the only championship they will win. Basically, Pat Riley sacrificed the future of the franchise and the prime of Dwayne Wade to win one championship ... while the Lakers received All-Star potential talent (Lamar Odom who was playing at an MVP/All-Star until his recent knee injury that will keep him out of Vegas and Caron Butler who is now with Washington and consistent scoring threat) that will make them competitive and a contender for the championship for the next half decade; will have less money going towards one player who is passed their prime and who is injured and sidelined more than he plays, while not wasting away Kobe's prime.

I can't argue too much against the Heat, since they did win a championship. But, consider these stats and thoughts:

Shaq in 2006 Finals versus Dallas:

Game1: 17 points, 7 rebounds, 5 assists
Game 2: 5 points, 6 rebounds, 2 assists
Game 3: 16 points, 11 rebounds, 5 assists, 7 turnovers
Game 4: 17 points, 13 rebounds, 3 assists
Game 5: 18 points, 12 rebounds, 1 assist
Game 6: 9 points, 12 rebounds, 1 assist

So, this is the man that helped bring in a championship? This, against competition of Eric Dampier and DeSagana Diop? It's not like he was going against Olajawon or Duncan. Dwayne Wade averaged over 40 points per game and was Mr. Clutch while earning the Finals MVP. I mean, in Game 6, the decisive game, your $20 million dollar man gets 9 points? Are you telling me that the above stat line is better than having Lamar Odom and Caron Butler? Sure, Shaq changes the opposing team's defense, he's still The Diesel, his presence alone wins games, blah, blah, blah. Well, where was this reasoning against Detroit in '04, hmm? Shaq played much, much better in '04 and the Lakers still lost (and yes, I'm still reeling from that). These are not the numbers you want from a dominate superstar ... those numbers are more like a 3rd scoring option. I'm just saying that if the Heat had not done the trade and kept Odom and Butler, with the continuity of playing together with Dwayne Wade for the past two years, I think the Heat would've still been able to make the Finals, beat the Mavs (unless they had Nash still?), and still be competitive now and for the rest of the decade.

Isn't the goal of a franchise to also plan for the future? To not be shortsighted? To not waste away the best years of your franchise player? Cuban should be more vilified than he is. If he had kept Nash, it's hard to not say the Mavs would be the champs. You can't argue with Riley too much since his move brought in a championship, but you would think they wouldn't go all Florida Marlins (i.e., buy a bunch of players for one championship) and be stuck in mediocrity for the next 5 years while over paying for an over-the-hill center (yeah, I went there). The things that bother me about Kupchak is not including Wade (instead of Butler) for the Shaq trade ... and then trading Butler for Brown. At least the Lake Show got something for Shaq and will stay in the upper echelon of teams during the next 5 years.

(2 Cent): Hip-Hop Is Dead?

A couple of weeks ago, NaS dropped his album entitled Hip Hop Is Dead. It is safe to say that after this LP, Hip-Hop is here to stay.

I wasn't really much of a NaS fan. I did think he could rap, but his recent albums overall never did it for me. He did have a handful of great singles, but usually the beats throughout his entire albums (say the last three that came out) were too similar for me. This has all changed.

Bringing in some production help from super producers Kanye West, Will.I.Am, Scott Storch, and Dr. Dre, this album has the best overall vibe of NaS' career. The tracks are all unique, which make for a great aesthetic variety to go along with NaS' ever powerful lyrical prowess. He also uses a couple of tracks to display some untapped creativity, altering his rap voice and switching up his flow. NaS' move to Def Jam was probably the best thing for him and everyone who listens to him. There are no interludes or skits to interfere with the album's flow ... there are no filler tracks ... there are 16 songs ... there are great guest appearances and superb production ... it has that #1 radio hit "Hip Hop Is Dead" Featuring Will.I.Am ... NaS has won me over and I can't give him anything less than a 10 out of 10. There is nothing that I can say needs to be done better. I can't say it is better than his first album Illmatic, but I would definitely give my vote for 2006 Hip-Hop/Rap album of the year.

**My Fav Five**

1) Track 7, "Black Republican" (Featuring Jay-Z): Perhaps Jay should've copped this track for his album ... nevertheless, this beat is crazy and with two of the most revered rappers on one track, it's an event.

2) Track 11, "Blunt Ashes": A super vibin' track produced by Chris Webber (methinks not the NBA player) ... this beat coinsides really well with NaS' layed back rap style ... I'm in love with the hook.

3) Track 9, "Still Dreaming" (Featuring Kanye West & Chrisette Michelle): Kanye laces an awesome track that mixes an old school blues vibe and 80's soul with an equally soulful vocal by Chrisette on the hook ... just a chill track that is a great collaboration.

4) Track 13, "Play On Playa" (Featuring Snoop Dogg): A sweet ridin' track by Scott Storch that features another rap legend ... an almost seamless flow with beat and vocals ... I like the touch of the little bell jingle in the background ... great track.

5) Track 14, "Can't Forget About You" (Featuring Chrisette Michelle): This track sounded somewhat familiar yet new, so I looked it up and it samples Nat King Cole's Unforgettable ... it's a crazy mix by Will.I.Am while borrowing Miss Michelle's voice to give it that classic feel ... just an amazing idea that is fully fleshed out audibly.

(1/2 Cent): Winning Is Addictive

Is a five game (week) winning streak good? I thought so. The latest Busdrivers' victim came in the form of the team that is left for dead, starting retired Keith Van Horn, injured for the season Kenyon Martin, and currently injured Steve Francis, Brad Miller, and Nene. Yeah, so, it was a blow out ... and it still feels good.

Our best overall fantasy player, Dwayne Wade, had been injured all the way up until Sunday, where he managed to get 42 fantasy points. Stephon Marbury has finally started playing like I projected, averaging 32, 37, and 37 FP's that last 3 weeks. Kobe has been Kobe ... and the fact that I traded him for Kevin Martin, Corey Maggette, and Bonzi Wells now seems absurd, if only for the fact that Wells has been chronically injured, Maggette is freshly injured, and Martin has been brought back down to earth, averaging about 26.33 FP's since the trade.

For the 3rd week in a row, the Busdrivers have led the league in overall scoring. This looks promising. There is only one team that I am uneasy about ... they're 1 game better in the record column and only 10 FP's behind for the season. Honestly, though ... would you trust your championship hopes on the likes of Matt Barnes, Janero Pargo, Andre Iguodala, and the oft injured Marcus Camby? Me neither.

Week 10: W - 334.83 to 190.17 ... W-L Record: 8-2 (Second in division; tied for second in the league)

Week 10 Fantasy Stud: Kobe Bryant (LAL, G) - 47 FP's

Week 10 Fantasy Dud: Chris Wilcox (SEA, F) - 19.75 FP's ... the one game that killed his weekly average was a 3 point, 2 rebound game against Dallas ... flashbacks of Fred Jones! No!!

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I will keep you up-to-date on the columns for this week ... they might be a tad below average on quality, as I will have to dedicate a lot of time towards moving, starting this Thursday. Have a great week and don't forget to write in your questions or comments by clicking on the Comments link below or writing to HCP2007@gmail.com.

HCP

Grab Bag Fridays: One Down, Fifty-One To Go

(1 Cent): Who's Reading Me Now?

Last week's reader response, which featured some dude wanting me to post a link to his political website, made me wonder who was reading this blog. Now, I'm really curious. I will post another e-mail I received (weirdo spam?) which is funny to me ... and then a real reader's question:

Q: "Hello Dear,

I am Mr Young Sliva from sierra leone but residing in Ivory Coast in west Africa. It is my desire to contact you on honesty and sincerity to assist me in transferring the sum of $18,000,000(Eighteen Million United States Dollars) inherited from my late father Mr. Sliva Duku to your country for investment. I am motivated in contacting you and hope to gradually build trust, relationship and confidence in you as I get to know you better. So please I want to know if you will be of assistance to me, but first I want to get to know you better. I am willing to offer you $3,600,000(Three Million Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) for your effort input after the successful transfer of this money for investment. Indicate your interest towards assisting me by sending your phone # and address to me so that I can communicate with you at any time.

I will be waiting for your response
Thanks

Young Sliva"

HCP: Sure, Young Silva. Would you like my Social Security number and a list of my fears to go with that too? Please. These e-mails are so lame ... not because they're grammatically inept but because someone somewhere thinks it can work OR someone somewhere falls for it. I love it. How about this, Young'n: you send me the $18 million to an account I'll open just for you and then we'll go from there. Hey, if you can't trust a complete stranger from the Internet with millions of dollars, who can you trust?

Oh, another thing I enjoyed was the title of the e-mail: "In confidence / Young." Am I supposed to think, "Well, it says confidence so ... yeah, sounds legit!"

So, some dude in Africa -- pardon me, the Ivory Coast in Africa -- will throw $3.6 mill my way? Just for helping a brotha out? Sweet! Sign me up! One question, though ... uh ... how did you come to the figure of 3.6? Why not a cool $4 mill? Why not less? Why the point six? And why do I have to show my interest by giving you my phone number and address? Couldn't I show my interest by saying something crazy like, oh I don't know, "I'm interested in your drug money?"

I don't know ... my advice to all the e-mail creators out there: pay someone $3.60 (U.S.) and have them edit and spell check for you. Seriously. Also, your last name is Silva and your dead father's first name was Silva? Hmmm ....

My favorite line of the e-mail: "It is my desire to contact you on honesty and sincerity to assist me in transferring the sum of $18,000,000(Eighteen Million United States Dollars) ...." So, maybe I'm rollin' with the wrong homies, but transferring $18 million from Africa to America doesn't sound too "honest" or "sincere" to me. What, do you have some blood diamonds or something? Also, thank you for spelling out $18 million in words. Very helpful indeed, Mr. Silva.

Lastly, don't address me as "dear" ... sicko. Okay, enough bagging on a fake e-mail. Now for a real comment.

Q: "lol at the political blog spam. Hey, at least you're making the rounds in the Israeli political arena...hmm...*strokes chin*...perhaps that should be your next career move. Seriously though, the GRE's are pretty insane from what I hear, don't beat yourself up over it. Maybe you should demand a recount, Al Gore-style. Then again it didn't really work out so well for him..." -- ax9

HCP: Yes, Two And A Half Cents is going global, baby. First was the Western United States, then it was Israel and the Middle East ... next, is the world! Word on the street is those Israelis can't get enough of my Pet Peeve Thursdays.

I suppose the GRE's were pretty insane ... but more so my results than the exam itself. Whatever. It just wasn't meant to be (kind of like the NBA Playoffs '06, when the Lakers were up 3 games to 1 in a best of 7 and lost) ... it's just not my time. I like your idea of demanding a recount, but I won't because I fear my scores would actually be lower. However, I will get my results on the written part of the exam by next week (or in two weeks, not sure). I'll let everyone know how horrible I did on that baby, too.

(2 Cent): New Year's Rez

Just wanted to keep tabs on my resolutions for '07 ... maybe if I let them out in cyberspace, I'll be highly motivated to keep 'em (I know, I'm kidding myself). Uhm ... come to think of it ... I don't really know what I even want to do as a resolution. Hmm ... the only one I can think of off the top of my head is to make the gym at least 3 times per week (the goal is 5). I missed about 3 weeks scattered through out last year ... barring sickness or injury, I've gotta go (yes, I did make it 3 times Christmas weekend ... good for me).

How about ... waking up when my alarm goes off. It might be harder to do in the winter time (since there's basically no sunlight for 3 months straight here) but I've gotta get my buns out of bed when I hear that sound.

There's also ... uh ... I got nothin'. Maybe the readers can suggest a resolution or two that I should try out ... and let me know what you plan to do for your New Year's Resolutions. I'd be intrigued.

(1/2 Cent): Say It Ain't So!

Yesterday was a crazy day. First, my friend tells me that the OC is going to be cancelled and backed it up with a Yahoo! article to prove it ... then I watch my Lakers blow a 21 point lead, only to pull it out in OT in Sacramento. Phew.

The main thing is that one of my favorite shows is cancelled. Why? 4 million viewers isn't enough?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070104/ap_en_tv/tv_the_o_c__canceled

I'm sure that's a lot more viewers than other shows that are still on air ... isn't it? I haven't been this disappointed since '99 when Family Guy was cancelled ... but you all know how that turned out.

Well, I guess I'll have to fill that void with something else pretty soon ... any suggestions? I already had one for Lost ... it's alright, but I don't think it's a show that I can be obsessed with.

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Thanks for the read ... sorry last month was kind of hit or miss (including the 1st of this month). Check back for the latest in sports, music, and music this Monday. Have a great weekend!

HCP

Pet Peeve Thursdays: It Peeves You Too

(1 Cent): Hell’s Bells

You know what really chaps my cheeks? The incessant ringing of those little bells by people waiting for you, like vultures, in front of any store around Christmas time. I’m not knocking the actual donating or foundation itself – but the last I heard, 98.93% of the general public is not hearing impaired. At least, until they hear those high pitched bells clanging nonstop. I’m pretty sure I would be able to see you standing near that cool looking cashbox – you know, the red one suspended in air by a weird metal contraption – without you trying to draw attention. You’re like that 8th redheaded stepchild that everyone now ignores because he makes too much noise all the time. Just sit back, chill, and say ‘hello’ once in a while and I bet you two quarters that you would receive larger, if not more frequent donations. In fact, the constant ringing makes me not want to donate; it makes me want to just grab that cowbell and stick it in a region of yours so that it would never see the light of day again and then run off with the three quarters, six nickels, eleven pennies, and wet food stamp enclosed in that crummy tin.

(2 Cent): How Can You Be Out Of That?!

A couple of weeks ago, I was forced to go to a fast food restaurant (and by forced I mean I was with a friend and didn’t feel like cooking anything … and it was close by). I won’t say the name of the quality establishment, but let’s just say their advertising campaign is centered on this idea of a meal between third meal and fif meal (yes, “fif”) and it rhymes with Paco Hell. Anyways, we were at the drive-thru ordering food and they informed us that they were out of beef. Out of beef? Are you kidding me, or are you effing kidding me? How can you be out of beef? It’s only 6pm! That’s like, half the menu!

This is a pet peeve because this was the third time this has happened to me by the same “restaurant” and I was also told of another time from a different friend. The other times this happened to me they were out of cheese and “vegetables” – in other words soggy, stringy lettuce and mushed up tomato squares. Yum.

So … uh … I’m far from qualified to be a restaurant manager for such a huge food chain, but I think I’d be pretty prepared by having enough food – or what I would call necessary condiments – so I wouldn’t be forced to tell people I’m out of cheese. That’s like going into a bridal shop and having them tell you that the're all out of white bridal gowns, but they have lovely black, beige, and maroon gowns that are just as good. Not cool.

Has this happened to anyone else by anyone else?

(1/2 Cent): New Year’s Glasses

After seeing the 7th New Year’s celebration in a row with people on TV wearing those glasses where the two zeros of the year are your “lenses” … it turned into a peeve. I guess they’re kinda fun … but they’re kinda ridiculous looking as well. It might have been the hip thing to do back in 2000, when it was original … but now I have to wait until 2010 before I never have to see them again adorned on below average, drunk faces? It’s always the gap-toothed ones that get the most TV time. What a shame. What a crock!

Well, here’s to 2008 and 2009 … with our luck, they’ll still make face glasses out of the two zeros of 2010 …

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Make sure to write in your pet peeves, comments, or questions by clicking the Comments link below!

HCP

Starting Off The Year On Left Foot

So, an unexpected pick-up at the airport postponed yesterday's column ... this Thursday will still go as planned.

One more slip up and I'll have to fire myself.


HCP